Context Is Everything

Today, I was lucky enough to hear these random things, and no, you aren't going to get the context.

From the Toad:  "Revenge is a dish best served with potato chips."

From Weird Michelle:  "No matter what else is wrong with my life, at least I'm not watching Glee."

AHA!

So, I had every intention to write each and every day in February. What happened is actually a litany of excuses, most of which are kinda valid.

I got the flu.

It dragged on forever in a fog of exhaustion and bleh.

Then it rolled into a sinus infection.

Then I managed to somehow get the same crud I had in the beginning.

All that exhaustion and bleh an more exhaustion lead to some sort of airborne stupidity that made me forget a lot...and mutter and stutter a lot.

And there was a crap ton of laundry that wasn't getting done, then there was vacuuming and dishes. Ergh.

Ergh, I say!

So, today, in the smack middle of not-even-close to February, I am FINALLY FINALLY able to think again. And what I think is Dayum, I miss writing. I miss ranting.

So, it's not February, and I'm here, making my excuses. With the way things are going work-wise, and Howler-wise, and in general life-wise, I may be out of excuses, and back to ranting.

Wish me luck!

Day #2

With less than 10 minutes to go in Day #2, I'm calling this one a tie. I'm starting the post before the time's up, and that's all that matters. What's the point to setting yourself up a challenge, if you can't change the rules when you get the flu and feel like you'd really rather have had died instead of recovering?

EXACTLY.

What this is about is a challenged an old forum friend to a 30-Days-in-February writing challenge. We will each spend a lil' bit of time each and every day of February, writing something online. On a blog. Not a Facebook status, not a tweet. Whole sentences with grammar and everything.

And so far, I've failed, and haven't heard from her. The good news is that tomorrow is Monday, and we've decided that Mondays are for Memes. We'll each chose an internet meme and somehow make it even better for having met us.

In the days leading up to February 1st, I had several good ideas (at least the fever made 'em seem good) and of course, once the fever left, it took those good ideas with them.

Here's hoping this isn't totally embarrassing!

Day #1

FAIL.

I have a bunch of excuses, but not one is worth even putting here. Let's call it a fail and move on. Shall we?

Buckets

I've heard that everyone has a "Bucket List." I don't actually have mine written down, but there are a few things I've wanted to do, and I realize over the past few years, I've been able to do them.

They're not big things. They're not world-changing things.

But they've been things I wanted to do, and I've gotten to do them.

One of them was this:

See Nick Lowe perform. A year ago last September, that happened. A friend from work, who actually knew who he was and I drove 2 hours to see him. He performed my favorite song (I Knew the Bride) and hers (Allison) Also, heard a few songs I either didn't know were his, or hadn't heard before.

Two:

See Lynyrd Skynyrd. Did that this summer, with My Sweetie, the Toad, and the Howler. They also knew I was in the audience, because they also played my favorite song (Gimme Three Steps) the Howler's (Sweet Home Alabama) and the Toad's (Simple Man) The Howler got the T-shirt, because as parents, we're pretty great that way.

Three:

At first, it was to get myself to Conneaut Lake Park and ride the Blue Streak--one of the oldest wooden roller coasters in America--then it was to take the Toad so he could ride it. Did that several years ago. Gave up being able to take the Howler, because CLP is in sad shape these days. Discovered that it was open this summer, and took the Howler. (She absolutely loved it!) Does that count as 3 items, or one with sub-categories? I think it's a 3-fer, and it's my List. So nyah nyah nyah.

Four:

Eat John's Wildwood Pizza. Ate a LOT of it in 3 years at Edinboro University, but haven't had it since 1992 or 1993. Did that at the beginning of this month. We were in Edinboro anyway, and My Sweetie (always a good sport about my insanities) got ourselves a pizza. It was as good as I remember! Not sure if that counts as a Bucket List item either, but again, nyah nyah nyah.

Five:

Design & build a store display window. A good friend of ours has her office downtown, and I asked if I could do her window for Christmas. Luckily, she was ready for a new thing--and I got to do it! Of course, My Sweetie was, as always, a very good sport about it, and built the fireplace (in 2 days!) and was a good-natured pack-mule for hauling, lifting and moving. He also decorated the tree, helped with the higher stuff this short girl couldn't reach, and in general was helpful and non-grouchy about it. I'm pretty pleased with my first effort and will spend the next month gearing up to do it again in January!

In 14 months, I've completed 5 things I've always wanted to do. Now if I could just get my damned poetry manuscript published, I'd have to start over on with a new Bucket!

Middle School Rant 2

I've been holding this in, and I ain't gonna hold it in no more!

Our middle school is like the sweaty armpit of the district. Sure, in every school there are crappy teachers, and crappy principals. Horrifyingly lazy substitutes and self centered oblivious parents. Mean OPK and weird OPK and just OPK.

But the middle school is like hell. Right here, easy to find, just off the Boulevard. So far, I like the school nurse.

The school itself is set up in pods, or "teams." There are 3 teams for each of 3 grades. There are 5 rooms per pod. If imagining just over 100 students scrambling thru the "hallway" between these 5 rooms wasn't horror enough, you get to live it by going to Open House.

The science teacher, described as "yelly" (she yells a lot) by the Howler is downright grumptastic. She had nothing to say to us, really, beyond a greeting as we introduced ourselves and the 150 other parents for Team T that were also crammed into the small "hallway." It's my opinion, as someone who could never ever make an effective teacher, that if, as a teacher of 11 and 12 year olds, you spend regular time at the beginning of your day yelling at the students, you don't have control of your classroom AND you're not a morning person. I'm not impressed by that.

I don't understand why these teachers were so damned determined to stand in the "hallway" crammed, jammed, and hammed up with all those parents and students instead of being INSIDE their respective rooms so that they could actually be approached by parents (I walked into her homeroom/science room and had no clue WHO the teacher was--and the Howler couldn't see her either. We found her, by accident, when leaving the room before I started spouting off about how much I hate the middle school) and could actually focus on the parent(s) she was speaking with.

I was also totally annoyed by other parents. Miss Priss is, of course, on Team T--I couldn't be lucky enough to have FINALLY ditched that little bitch and her self involved smugass mother and step grandmother. I spent part of my evening trying not to trip Granny, since, as oblivious to anyone else around her meant that every step I took meant she was dodging in front of me. She was one dodge away from going down.

Also on Team T is the Princess' daughter. I work with the Princess, and honestly, I get enough of her own junior high attention whoring ways at work. I don't need to see her flip her hair, bat her eyelashes, cut me off when I'm speaking to someone....and the bitch sure as shit did not need to walk in front of me & mine as we waited in line. Apparently, she was absent the day the rest of us learned those lessons we all supposedly learned in kindergarten. When trying to talk with the Howler's social studies teacher, the Princess actually made it a point to direct Mr. Social Studies attention to her by flipping her hair and swinging her fat ass as she left. I can't find a way to even laugh, since her fat ass has been negatively impacting my life all over the place these days.

The only saving grace of Open House was that the Book Fair was also being held that night, and of course, we had to go look. I was happy to do that, as my love affair with libraries has FINALLY FINALLY carried over to the Howler (who has never been impressed with any room full of books before.) While waiting in a very long, slow moving line to pay for the Howler's choices, after being almost knocked over repeatedly by a very chunky monkey & her spawn, I spied the the Troll.

Yes! My Sweetie's ex-wife, which the Howler now knows about. The Howler is not impressed to finally be getting to have a good long look at the thing. When we finally make it out into the hallway, she has successfully located My Sweetie and is being sweet-as-sugar. She's dragging her latest victim husband and her beady eyed, rat faced, blobby daughter with her.

As cruel and unChristian as it is, seeing the Troll (she's really showing her age, btw) made the horror of Open House almost worth it. I say almost, because the aura of pure misery coming off her latest husband (#8, I believe) was enough to kill any happiness--much the way dementors are described in the Harry Potter books. I don't feel guilty about it, because we have mutual friends and thru his family and friends he was warned to get away while he could, and he willfully and knowingly married the succubus anyway. (Hint:  when everyone who knows you, and even her own family warn you to run far, far away from her--and they make it clear they are NOT in any way kidding--and you marry her anyway, you got what you bargained for. And you'll get little sympathy from me for it when you discover your mistake.)

I never said I was a nice person.

As the Middle School Sucks

It sucked the first time through, when I was 12-13 years old.

It sucked the second time through, with the Toad.

It sucks now with the Howler.

The Howler doesn't know how bad it sucks though. Or she's choosing not to notice, probably a mixture of both.

About 2 weeks before school started, the district had orientation(s) scheduled. Thankfully, it was all divided up by alphabet, and there were at least 3 times across 2 days, so it wasn't everybody all at once (and that, friends, is the sum-total of the good there.)

The Howler and I get there just in time to not be late. A woman approaches the microphone, and begins talking. She tells us, 3 minutes into her not really welcoming speech, that's she the principal. Her name is Wendy *muttermutter*. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think if you're speaking into a working microphone, you should be able to be heard.

She proceeds to introduce the Assistant Principal, Mike *muttermutter2*. I assume they're not related. She introduces the 6th grade guidance counselor. Wanna know what that woman's name is? SO THE FUCK DO I. Yuppers, still talking into the microphone, and still not being heard.

Principal Muttermutter continues to introduce the resource officer, and the district's athletic director. I know the athletic director's name! She managed to say his name, first and last, into the microphone! YAY! Because he's the ONE GUY in the entire school district my daughter will absolutely be having contact with every day! He'll be totally involved in helping us navigate this crazy world called middle school!

NOT.

Assistant Principal Muttermutter (no relation) and Ms. FuckifIknowhername guidance counselor got up and had a lovely power point presentation on expectations and some of the finer points of arrival and dismissal. Neither one bothered to say their names again.

Maybe I'm just an old grump with too-high expectations...but REALLY. When having an Orientation, don't you expect that the people who show up are there because THEY HAVEN'T FUCKING DONE THIS SHIT BEFORE (or in my case, not in over a decade, which amounts to the same thing), and you really should make sure that by first speaking clearly into a functioning microphone and by second repeating the names of the faculty and staff who will be having contact with my daughter I know who you are and what your responsibility/authority is. "I expect to be having a conversation with you about my daughter at some point this year and I'd like to know your name so I recognize the importance of your call when it comes" also plays a part in my annoyance.

Expecting me to follow along in the student day planner/handbook would go a lot further if, as you chatter about procedures in no discernable order, you tell me what page to look at. I barely found the arrival information when you skittered off into no-man's land to cover the lunchtime procedure.

I'll rant and rage about Open House on the next installment of As the Middle School Sucks (it's sad and funny at the same time that in the 6 weeks or so school's been in I'm already THIS annoyed.)