It's lovely.
I'm 41 years old, and, apparently, by joining the PTA, I've been transported back to junior high--only with uglier, fatter, and dumber women. Okay, it's just like two or three (that I know of so far) but seriously. One or two psychotic breaks (or some really trippy bad LSD) and they've ruined it for everybody.
The emailing has begun. Without naming names, the AWOL prez (who was pretty useless to begin with) is sending out what I assume she thinks is "scathing" emails accusing people of being "VERY nasty" to her little nutbar friend. And, I'm on her propaganda email list.
It's pathetic, and it's upsetting to the people it's aimed at--you know, the ones who have been doing the work, and who actually put their money where their mouths are. The ones who aren't just saying, they're doing, showing, and being.
I so desperately want to reply, and just lambaste the hell out of them.
But, I've decided to take the higher road, mostly because these fuckwits aren't worth the energy I'd burn and the ever-increasing frustration I'll end up feeling. So I post it here instead.
What is most disturbing, though, is the fact that no one has yet explained the "I'm excusing myself from anymore invalid information" bit. I'm getting ready to start shipping it out to foreign language translators to see if there's some sort of Californianese language barrier keeping me from truly understanding.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Another Timeless Question
Customer: Do you have a paper towel or anything?
Me: No, sir, I'm sorry, I don't.
Customer: Boy, it's cold out here. My nose is running.
Me:
Customer: Can I wipe my nose on your sleeve?
Me: No, sir, I'm sorry, I don't.
Customer: Boy, it's cold out here. My nose is running.
Me:
Customer: Can I wipe my nose on your sleeve?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
It's Your Lie, Tell It How You Want
Our tantrumming acting president resigned everything PTA related Thursday night after elections. She said, in her letter, that the elections had nothing to do with it.
She's got some serious delusions going on 'round here. She says it's about standing up for herself, and gives the usual Jr High "I know who I am" and then proceeds to ramble on about "doing the right thing" and "always behaved in a professional manner."
Now, I don't know what kind of professional she's thinking, but she certainly wasn't it. Partly, it's the missing hard-g sound in her vocab, her lack of action in doing things that did not bring her into visibility, and then, it's the tantrum.
She got pissy during the meeting whenever anyone did or said anything she didn't like--including questions about the "whys" of the vote process. Several people had questions about why it was being done the way it was (it was obvious that she was trying to lock herself in/everyone else out, and what she ended up doing was locking herself out) and she actually YELLED and was very rude to those of us with questions.
She decided that we would proceed office-by-office, taking nominations from the floor, and closing the nominations as we went. Since she was up for two offices, she figured we would all just let it ride, including her removing one of the officer positions. Neither happened. She did not run unopposed for President nor for 1st VP. She lost both, dismally. 2nd VP opened back up, as the same person was running for each, and won each. Nominations were opened back up, and the one person nominated was voted in by a voice vote since she was unopposed.
Miss Thang managed to keep her composure, but I was certain to lose money, as I expected her to crack like a chapped lip before the end of the meeting. She didn't.
I do believe, though, that the bios that were put in the newsletter were reviewed by her, and she had help writing hers. The letter for the emergency meeting, the emails, and the emailed letter of resignation were hers, though. The inconsistancies from the newsletter to actual tantrumming were vibrant, easy to spot, and included poor sentence structure, misuse of punctuation, and some flat out crazed WTF does that mean thoughts.
Here's the one that kills me:
" I am excusing myself from anymore invalid information about me since I do not deserve it nor did I do anything to provoke it. "
She's pissed because someone stood up during the meeting, before the actual election, and stated that not only did the previous president not return her calls or emails, but that Miss Thang did not do it either. EVERY PERSON in that room has had that experience with one, or both, of them.
I have noticed during this past year, that neither of them treated the people they perceived has having little or no power with respect. If they didn't know you, if they didn't like you, you were ignored, and, I assume (because, DUH, they're women) they talked about you behind your back.
The difference between me and them? Mostly it comes down to a willingness to treat every one the same--I may think you're a total skank, a complete bum, a flake, a freak, or just a plain o' PITA, but, I learned your name, made an effort to know something about you, and THEN asked if you could help me out with whatever PTA thing there was. I never said ANY. THING. bad, mean, or rude about ANY straight up member. It was just the previous prez and Miss Thang--and it was all about their piss poor "professional" conduct. And, I would have said ANY of it to their faces--and, now that I mention it, I HAVE said it in a meeting, at least once.
Oh, btw, I am the Secretary-Elect for the PTA. May God have mercy on my soul.
She's got some serious delusions going on 'round here. She says it's about standing up for herself, and gives the usual Jr High "I know who I am" and then proceeds to ramble on about "doing the right thing" and "always behaved in a professional manner."
Now, I don't know what kind of professional she's thinking, but she certainly wasn't it. Partly, it's the missing hard-g sound in her vocab, her lack of action in doing things that did not bring her into visibility, and then, it's the tantrum.
She got pissy during the meeting whenever anyone did or said anything she didn't like--including questions about the "whys" of the vote process. Several people had questions about why it was being done the way it was (it was obvious that she was trying to lock herself in/everyone else out, and what she ended up doing was locking herself out) and she actually YELLED and was very rude to those of us with questions.
She decided that we would proceed office-by-office, taking nominations from the floor, and closing the nominations as we went. Since she was up for two offices, she figured we would all just let it ride, including her removing one of the officer positions. Neither happened. She did not run unopposed for President nor for 1st VP. She lost both, dismally. 2nd VP opened back up, as the same person was running for each, and won each. Nominations were opened back up, and the one person nominated was voted in by a voice vote since she was unopposed.
Miss Thang managed to keep her composure, but I was certain to lose money, as I expected her to crack like a chapped lip before the end of the meeting. She didn't.
I do believe, though, that the bios that were put in the newsletter were reviewed by her, and she had help writing hers. The letter for the emergency meeting, the emails, and the emailed letter of resignation were hers, though. The inconsistancies from the newsletter to actual tantrumming were vibrant, easy to spot, and included poor sentence structure, misuse of punctuation, and some flat out crazed WTF does that mean thoughts.
Here's the one that kills me:
" I am excusing myself from anymore invalid information about me since I do not deserve it nor did I do anything to provoke it. "
She's pissed because someone stood up during the meeting, before the actual election, and stated that not only did the previous president not return her calls or emails, but that Miss Thang did not do it either. EVERY PERSON in that room has had that experience with one, or both, of them.
I have noticed during this past year, that neither of them treated the people they perceived has having little or no power with respect. If they didn't know you, if they didn't like you, you were ignored, and, I assume (because, DUH, they're women) they talked about you behind your back.
The difference between me and them? Mostly it comes down to a willingness to treat every one the same--I may think you're a total skank, a complete bum, a flake, a freak, or just a plain o' PITA, but, I learned your name, made an effort to know something about you, and THEN asked if you could help me out with whatever PTA thing there was. I never said ANY. THING. bad, mean, or rude about ANY straight up member. It was just the previous prez and Miss Thang--and it was all about their piss poor "professional" conduct. And, I would have said ANY of it to their faces--and, now that I mention it, I HAVE said it in a meeting, at least once.
Oh, btw, I am the Secretary-Elect for the PTA. May God have mercy on my soul.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Mean Side
I am not a nice person. Sure, I can imitate nice people, and have even been known to be compassionate and caring (not often, but sometimes, it sneaks up on me) but, in general, I'm not a nice person.
I don't have time, nor do I care enough about 99.9% of the people I come into contact with to expend the energy it takes to be a nice person. While at work, where I get paid, I can be nice to customers, and occasionally, it bleeds over to my co workers, but again, I stress the paid part of that. In a nutshell, you are are advised to tread carefully if I'm not wearing the Gawdawful vest, especially if you are stupid, selfish, greedy, sneaky, immature, or otherwise annoying to the multitudes around you.
That said, I will continue by telling you that this post, in no way, reflects on my appreciation for the men and women in the military who sacrifice a lot to protect my right to be a not nice person.
But, having said all that, I have to say that simply by being, or having been, enrolled in the armed forces, does not give you a 'bye' in any way from my thinking that you are an asshole.
Turns out that Miss PTA Thang was a Marine. And in the Middle East, where her PTA vote-for-me bio says she was actually IN CHARGE of stuff.
This floors me.
I have the naive impression that being a Marine, in any shape or form, would mean that you would not behave like a 13 year old girl when faced with a group of people who are not impressed with you. Especially if you had, in your tenure as a Marine, been overseas, been in a war zone, and been responsible for the lives of other Marines. Basically, I would expect that a Marine would be able to suck up whatever wasn't going his or her way, not make excuses, and deal. I am, however, impressed that she hasn't been blathering about her Marinedom before--too often, in my experience, the Marines I've had the displeasure to meet, make being a Marine their biggest achievement--and they use it as an excuse to be a complete asshole too.
I would also have expected a Marine to not throw a tantrum, and I would have expected that at some point, also, the US government would have given you a hard consonant or two as a going-away present when your time was up. I think Uncle Sam could've at least done that much.
I don't have time, nor do I care enough about 99.9% of the people I come into contact with to expend the energy it takes to be a nice person. While at work, where I get paid, I can be nice to customers, and occasionally, it bleeds over to my co workers, but again, I stress the paid part of that. In a nutshell, you are are advised to tread carefully if I'm not wearing the Gawdawful vest, especially if you are stupid, selfish, greedy, sneaky, immature, or otherwise annoying to the multitudes around you.
That said, I will continue by telling you that this post, in no way, reflects on my appreciation for the men and women in the military who sacrifice a lot to protect my right to be a not nice person.
But, having said all that, I have to say that simply by being, or having been, enrolled in the armed forces, does not give you a 'bye' in any way from my thinking that you are an asshole.
Turns out that Miss PTA Thang was a Marine. And in the Middle East, where her PTA vote-for-me bio says she was actually IN CHARGE of stuff.
This floors me.
I have the naive impression that being a Marine, in any shape or form, would mean that you would not behave like a 13 year old girl when faced with a group of people who are not impressed with you. Especially if you had, in your tenure as a Marine, been overseas, been in a war zone, and been responsible for the lives of other Marines. Basically, I would expect that a Marine would be able to suck up whatever wasn't going his or her way, not make excuses, and deal. I am, however, impressed that she hasn't been blathering about her Marinedom before--too often, in my experience, the Marines I've had the displeasure to meet, make being a Marine their biggest achievement--and they use it as an excuse to be a complete asshole too.
I would also have expected a Marine to not throw a tantrum, and I would have expected that at some point, also, the US government would have given you a hard consonant or two as a going-away present when your time was up. I think Uncle Sam could've at least done that much.
Monday, April 13, 2009
New Patio Furniture
For Easter this year, we splurged on new patio furniture. Aren't you jealous of me?!Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Wrong?
Yes, I think I was wrong. But maybe not.
There's a woman at work--we shall call her "Cry Me A River" to protect her privacy. She's preggers. No big deal, except that she took the pregnancy test at work, on her break (Thank God it was on her break) and she makes calls like some sort of nut. (Picks up phone, dials, listens, hangs up. She does this several times in a row, then she cries.) There's always a drama.
She's also been so nice as to leave me (or hand me, on the most recent occasion) her wallet, then say, "I'll be right back." and then off to the ladies room she goes.
Okay, I get that you need to pee. I get that when you are preggers, you need to pee often, and a lot. But, what's with the wallet? I don't carry a purse, and this wallet of hers is bigger than at least two of the purses I do own (don't ask.) And why in the name of all that is sane, would anyone haul that puppy around with them throughout the store? And what makes her think that anyone (but especially ME) would want to babysit her wallet?
And then there's the picture. She has a picture of her daughter. The picture is a largish snapshot, coming in at close to 5x7, at a guess. She haul it around with her also, propping it up on the keyboard when she's actually on a register.
Now, I will not make a judgement on whether or not the child is cute (I fear for her sanity, considering what I've seen of her mother.) But if we're specifically told during orientation, and during subsequent training, and at least once a year, there's a sweep of the store during which we are required to initial an email that tells us that we are NOT to have personal "affects" of any nature at our stations, and we are not to personalize our registers with photos, decorations, notices, etc, and if, during these purges we are commanded to not post any kind of information related to our jobs ON the register, what makes her think that she can prop this pic up on her keyboard and that's kosher?
I'd also like to know how her leaving that picture at a register makes it everyone else's responsibility to keep track of it. She left it outside once, and after she came pawing through everything for upwards of 10 minutes still didn't find it--and asked if I'd seen it like it was my JOB to keep track of it for her. I politely explained the policy--we're not have it. It fits in your pocket, and basically stays there, or you don't have it. I know I pointedly told her that if she leaves it at a register, it WILL get thrown out--if the Big Wigs come in, if it gets stepped on, if it's in the way. Out it goes--in the garbage, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Today, our Big Wig was in--with HIS Big Wigs. Yeppers. Not just the district guy, but the regional guys too. One of 'em might even have a title that sports "VP" in it. And, behold! There's the picture.
I chucked it. And I'm sure someone's gonna tell her it was me. And at some point, she'll cry over it, and management will come and tell me how horrid I am.
But correct me if I'm wrong--or tell me I'm a hard ass if you want--the Big Wig(s) find that thing where I am, and they're not gonna ask me (or anybody else) who it belongs to. They're gonna assume it's mine, and it's gonna be my ass in a sling. On top of the fact that I can't even post stuff on my garden register like "Cover the credit card machine EVERY NIGHT" (you know, stuff that I can prove saves the company money because the damn electronic signature capture machine isn't supposed to be exposed to below zero temps and water, and until I starting being all anal retentive about it, one or more of them broke down at least monthly due to being filled with water--and not just from the weather. It's a garden center, where plants are, and where plants are, wait for it, WATERED. It's not rocket science) never mind the other stuff that helps keep the inventory numbers where they should be. Has anyone noticed that since I had to take down all my little reminders, the numbers got worse? Why do you think that is? Could it possibly be that nobody listens to me, and nobody reads the communications book? Oh, yeah, it probably IS that.
But that's a different rant. I chucked her kid's pic in the bin. Is that wrong?
(And just to justify myself--my contraband cardboard and plastic improvised door for the toothpicks and saran wrap hut are okay--because they keep the frostbite away, and no one is responsible for them. I don't drag 'em around with me, and I don't expect anyone else to keep track of 'em for me.)
There's a woman at work--we shall call her "Cry Me A River" to protect her privacy. She's preggers. No big deal, except that she took the pregnancy test at work, on her break (Thank God it was on her break) and she makes calls like some sort of nut. (Picks up phone, dials, listens, hangs up. She does this several times in a row, then she cries.) There's always a drama.
She's also been so nice as to leave me (or hand me, on the most recent occasion) her wallet, then say, "I'll be right back." and then off to the ladies room she goes.
Okay, I get that you need to pee. I get that when you are preggers, you need to pee often, and a lot. But, what's with the wallet? I don't carry a purse, and this wallet of hers is bigger than at least two of the purses I do own (don't ask.) And why in the name of all that is sane, would anyone haul that puppy around with them throughout the store? And what makes her think that anyone (but especially ME) would want to babysit her wallet?
And then there's the picture. She has a picture of her daughter. The picture is a largish snapshot, coming in at close to 5x7, at a guess. She haul it around with her also, propping it up on the keyboard when she's actually on a register.
Now, I will not make a judgement on whether or not the child is cute (I fear for her sanity, considering what I've seen of her mother.) But if we're specifically told during orientation, and during subsequent training, and at least once a year, there's a sweep of the store during which we are required to initial an email that tells us that we are NOT to have personal "affects" of any nature at our stations, and we are not to personalize our registers with photos, decorations, notices, etc, and if, during these purges we are commanded to not post any kind of information related to our jobs ON the register, what makes her think that she can prop this pic up on her keyboard and that's kosher?
I'd also like to know how her leaving that picture at a register makes it everyone else's responsibility to keep track of it. She left it outside once, and after she came pawing through everything for upwards of 10 minutes still didn't find it--and asked if I'd seen it like it was my JOB to keep track of it for her. I politely explained the policy--we're not have it. It fits in your pocket, and basically stays there, or you don't have it. I know I pointedly told her that if she leaves it at a register, it WILL get thrown out--if the Big Wigs come in, if it gets stepped on, if it's in the way. Out it goes--in the garbage, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Today, our Big Wig was in--with HIS Big Wigs. Yeppers. Not just the district guy, but the regional guys too. One of 'em might even have a title that sports "VP" in it. And, behold! There's the picture.
I chucked it. And I'm sure someone's gonna tell her it was me. And at some point, she'll cry over it, and management will come and tell me how horrid I am.
But correct me if I'm wrong--or tell me I'm a hard ass if you want--the Big Wig(s) find that thing where I am, and they're not gonna ask me (or anybody else) who it belongs to. They're gonna assume it's mine, and it's gonna be my ass in a sling. On top of the fact that I can't even post stuff on my garden register like "Cover the credit card machine EVERY NIGHT" (you know, stuff that I can prove saves the company money because the damn electronic signature capture machine isn't supposed to be exposed to below zero temps and water, and until I starting being all anal retentive about it, one or more of them broke down at least monthly due to being filled with water--and not just from the weather. It's a garden center, where plants are, and where plants are, wait for it, WATERED. It's not rocket science) never mind the other stuff that helps keep the inventory numbers where they should be. Has anyone noticed that since I had to take down all my little reminders, the numbers got worse? Why do you think that is? Could it possibly be that nobody listens to me, and nobody reads the communications book? Oh, yeah, it probably IS that.
But that's a different rant. I chucked her kid's pic in the bin. Is that wrong?
(And just to justify myself--my contraband cardboard and plastic improvised door for the toothpicks and saran wrap hut are okay--because they keep the frostbite away, and no one is responsible for them. I don't drag 'em around with me, and I don't expect anyone else to keep track of 'em for me.)
Sunday, April 05, 2009
No, Really
How old are you? The acting PTA prez, last Thursday, gave me one of those idiotic cheerleader waves--one of the ones where you bend your arm at the elbow, so that your hand, palm facing out, is at boob level. You move your hand in a quick side to side motion, smiling like the Homecoming Queen candidate you are, and say in a chipper/cheerful voice, "HI!"
It's bizarre that suddenly, at 41, I'm back in Junior High.
Oh, I forgot the part about how your BFF is attached to you at the shoulder during the wave/HI exchange.
Beeeeeee Zaaaaaaaaar.
She's apparently doing this to several people, though--those of us who have suddenly hit her radar at the meeins.
Voting is coming up, and I guess she's trying to get the vote the Homecoming Queen way. Be all "friendly" to the lesser girls around her, and we'll all continue to play along. I guess she missed the day when everyone else realized that high school sucked, and no one in their right mind wants to go back there. Ever.
It's sad, but funny in a way, to think that she thinks that kind of thing is actually going to work on us. I mean, doesn't she get that we actually talk--like real people--to each other, we've compared notes on our impressions of her, and we've all individually come to the conclusion that she's shallow and self-centered.
I am comforted to know that I'm not the only one, though. Does she really think we're all that stupid? Or shallow? Does she really have NO IDEA that we'd rather have a complete hard-assed, mean, demanding bitch around than her? Does she think that while there are 4-6 of standing around the playground talking and laughing with each other, and she's off to the side with the manipulating wench newsletter woman (ONE person) that we'd all really rather be her?
What is she smoking, and where can I get some?
It's bizarre that suddenly, at 41, I'm back in Junior High.
Oh, I forgot the part about how your BFF is attached to you at the shoulder during the wave/HI exchange.
Beeeeeee Zaaaaaaaaar.
She's apparently doing this to several people, though--those of us who have suddenly hit her radar at the meeins.
Voting is coming up, and I guess she's trying to get the vote the Homecoming Queen way. Be all "friendly" to the lesser girls around her, and we'll all continue to play along. I guess she missed the day when everyone else realized that high school sucked, and no one in their right mind wants to go back there. Ever.
It's sad, but funny in a way, to think that she thinks that kind of thing is actually going to work on us. I mean, doesn't she get that we actually talk--like real people--to each other, we've compared notes on our impressions of her, and we've all individually come to the conclusion that she's shallow and self-centered.
I am comforted to know that I'm not the only one, though. Does she really think we're all that stupid? Or shallow? Does she really have NO IDEA that we'd rather have a complete hard-assed, mean, demanding bitch around than her? Does she think that while there are 4-6 of standing around the playground talking and laughing with each other, and she's off to the side with the manipulating wench newsletter woman (ONE person) that we'd all really rather be her?
What is she smoking, and where can I get some?
Thursday, April 02, 2009
The Mee-in
I did make it to the PTA special mee-in, thanks in part to the weather. (They closed the garden center at 5:30pm instead of 7pm; and since they didn't need me to cover breaks or anything, I was outta there!) I arrived just at the scheduled time, and was absolutely stunning in my orange. (HAH!)
Anyway, it was rather anti-climactic. There was no tantrumming, no fighting, no nothin' really.
A brief explanation of what we did right, and how, for several years now, things had been done totally not right.
The only real question is how to do the actual voting. We can't do, according to the by-laws I guess, a vote-by-proxy thing, and Miss Thang is opposed to doing a "mail in" or "drop off" vote. I assume she's as paranoid of "us" as we are of her, and doesn't want to take the chance of having a funny vote that will be questioned later.
If she gets it, though, I'd be surprised.
Nobody is happy over the way most of the parents have been treated--again with the lack of communication, the no-call back (don't call us, we'll call you--as if policy), the lies we've been told about what's happening, who's involved, etc etc etc.
It's time to move on.
But, apparently, I am Miss Thang's PTA BFF. Her non-verbal performance the night of the real meeting, the email responses, AND her meltdown seem to have passed, and she was, at the special meeting, chatting away at me like we were always such good friends. She blathered encouragingly about how "great you'd be" as the secretary and all that.
Bleah.
Somehow, I get the feeling that she's not really paying attention (or is totally Asperbergering my social clues) to who I am. It's like she believes that because I continued to show up even while being totally ignored means I'm desperate for friendship in some dorkass way, and will be forever indebted to her for being my friend. (Now, there's an As-If policy if I ever heard one.)
Does it make me a phony because I don't visibly roll my eyes at her?
Anyway, it was rather anti-climactic. There was no tantrumming, no fighting, no nothin' really.
A brief explanation of what we did right, and how, for several years now, things had been done totally not right.
The only real question is how to do the actual voting. We can't do, according to the by-laws I guess, a vote-by-proxy thing, and Miss Thang is opposed to doing a "mail in" or "drop off" vote. I assume she's as paranoid of "us" as we are of her, and doesn't want to take the chance of having a funny vote that will be questioned later.
If she gets it, though, I'd be surprised.
Nobody is happy over the way most of the parents have been treated--again with the lack of communication, the no-call back (don't call us, we'll call you--as if policy), the lies we've been told about what's happening, who's involved, etc etc etc.
It's time to move on.
But, apparently, I am Miss Thang's PTA BFF. Her non-verbal performance the night of the real meeting, the email responses, AND her meltdown seem to have passed, and she was, at the special meeting, chatting away at me like we were always such good friends. She blathered encouragingly about how "great you'd be" as the secretary and all that.
Bleah.
Somehow, I get the feeling that she's not really paying attention (or is totally Asperbergering my social clues) to who I am. It's like she believes that because I continued to show up even while being totally ignored means I'm desperate for friendship in some dorkass way, and will be forever indebted to her for being my friend. (Now, there's an As-If policy if I ever heard one.)
Does it make me a phony because I don't visibly roll my eyes at her?
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