Missing

This weekend is the Full Moon. Monday marks my return to the living.

I've been off work for 6 weeks, trying to be pain free, and clear headed. With available meds for fibromyalgia, the two are mutually exclusive. At least for me.

I feel like I've totally lost 3 months of my life. November and December to the mind-killing full body pain, and January to the mind-numbing dumbness the take-way-my-pain meds give.

It's not funny. I feel like I've been marooned and have just recently been rescued. With little time for a debriefing, I am returning to the land of the living.

Just in time for PETA to go berserk in Punxsutawney, PA, over a rat.

I'm sorry, but it's an overgrown RAT. A very large, pampered, lives-better than most of the Jefferson County population RAT. And PETA has decided that because he will be dragged out of a pseudo stump for 20 minutes one day a year, he's got it bad. PETA needs to get a life, and adult supervision.

Priceless

Wiper blades (2)..............................................$25

Full Tank of Gas for Trip Home......................$57

Speed at which yer travellin' when the Man decides to slap ice off wiper blade........65 mph

Replacement Wiper Blades from Small Town off Interstate Auto Parts Store..............$40

7-year-old Voice from backseat saying, "Daddy, that was really stupid"...............PRICELESS

I Do Not Like It Sam I Am

At first, I loved the pain-free feeling of Cymbalta. I could deal with the nausea. I could deal with the goofiness I felt and the mild dizziness. It was no worse than hot flashes.

What I can't deal with is the groggy drugged feeling I get every morning waking up, the uncomfortable sleeping (my arms and hands fall asleep no matter what position I'm in) and the alternating not really sleeping at all.

I don't like it.

I don't like that I forgot to take it yesterday morning before church, and while I was kinda groggy getting up & moving, by 10am I was clear-headed and functional. I had a sense of humor again. I felt connected to my family again.

So, now I'm going to try taking it at night, and hope for the stupid/dead head feeling to occur when I'm sleeping, instead of during the day.

Wish me luck! (and if I don't get lucky, I don't think I'll be making sentences enough to continue to post.)

Wednesday Morning

So, after dealing with increasing pain for months, I finally succumbed to it. It got to the point that I actually went to the doctor and asked for something to help it.

She gave me Cymbalta. And recommended physical therapy. And put me off work.

So, I hesitantly took the Cymbalta. Considering that the side effects I experience when taking meds, especially long-term meds, are varied, unusual, and after the fact, comical.

Ativan induces hallucinations. Various anti-depressants have caused hair loss (Chewbacca showered at my house); double raging ear infections; major confusion (couldn't tell you what my husband does for a living.) Some were just annoying when they occured, but that last one was scary!

I take the Cymbalta, without checking the side effects list--in part because I don't want to blow things out of proportion, and in part because if I get totally wigged out or something, it will be more noticable if I haven't been expecting it.

What I got started out with major nausea. Morning sickness couldn't hold a candle to this. I also didn't really sleep for about 8 days. I would rest, but not really sleep. So I could drag myself through each day, hoping that "tonight" would be when I could sleep. That faded into being so sleepy that I couldn't keep my eyes open at 9:30am after downing half a pot of coffee in 20 minutes. That's given way to being able to sleep, when normal people sleep, but waking up every morning confused.

Wednesday morning I was so confused I needed help to find the door. And then I got behind the wheel of my car to take the Howler to school (and we all know what a nightmare that is.) I'm not sure if it was that morning that I witnessed the mom get out of her car, root thru her trunk, THEN let her urchins out to go to school or not. Actually, I'm not entirely sure it happened at all.

Today, I just felt groggy and stupid.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Resolutions

New year. Resolutions. Ugh.

Don't do it.