I am not stupid, but, apparently, I'm required to play one at work.
There's one manager, who until about 6 months ago, was okay--actually cool, in a way. Funny, friendly, and tolerant. Even of my potty mouth.
At some time (and I have an idea of when) in October, he got this wild hair, jammed sideways, up his ass. It's not attractive, and even just saying, "Good morning" to this man can set off a series of asshole attitude that is just not worth it.
He's been on this rip--apparently his New Year's Resolution was to write up everybody in the store (except the ButtCrack, she's exempt).
What irritates me about this is not just the in-general someone-pissed-in-his-oatmeal sort of attitude, but the fact that my mere existance seems to be a problem for him. I don't personally care, because I know that I did nothing involving literal or figurative pee, but it's the idea that even if I have a legit reason to be speaking to him, he seems to get defensive on others' behalf and give me a sarcastic attitude, moments before he stop listening.
Even if I'm speaking clearly and slowly. He actually admits that he has "stopped listening"--I get, at best, 60 seconds to get my point across, and if I get interupted (usually by his pissy attitude), I'm screwed.
He's worse than Useless, at his worst. At least with Useless, I can confront the passive-aggressive attitude and he'll curb it near me; with this jackass, all confrontation (meaning I pointedly ask him if I've done something to piss in his oatmeal and he denies it) does is make him sneakier about getting it in.
As if me and my journalling habit aren't going to see it.
The most recent incident involves a snowy Friday night, my being *extra* coverage that we're not used to, and his pissy attitude exhibiting itself totally full-blown. I get the sarcasm, I get the tone, I get told he's stopped listening, and, best of all, I get to finally say, out-loud, "Well, I guess I'll just go back to playing stupid when you're here."
He heard me, at least that sentence, loud and clear--because no only did he stop with the pissy attitude, he actually listened when I spoke, the next time I absolutely had to. And I got no sarcastic comments or rolled eyes.
I know where the prevailing stupidity winds come from. And I know that at this point, my only way to shield myself from them is to
1) only speak to him when spoken to, unless
2) it's totally necessary to my job
3) document, document, document, in the meantime.
Sooner or later, something will give, and somebody is going to non-chalantly ask me what was going on (and by somebody, I mean somebody who can do something about it.)
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Weirdness Abounding
Today.
Of course, it means I was at work.
For no particular reason, a man walks up to me at the customer service desk and asks me if I'm familiar with Jesus' twelve disciples.
I said, "sure"
He asked if I knew what kind of car they'd be driving if they were here today. I was afraid to answer, because all I could think of was "circus clown car?" (as in, how many disciples can you fit in this car to win a spot in the Guiness Book of World Records)
Finally he said, "Well, it was in the Bible--are you sure you don't know?"
"I'm afraid to guess."
So he tells me:
Are you ready?
Have you figured it out yet?
A Honda. The disciples were all in one Accord.
Of course, it means I was at work.
For no particular reason, a man walks up to me at the customer service desk and asks me if I'm familiar with Jesus' twelve disciples.
I said, "sure"
He asked if I knew what kind of car they'd be driving if they were here today. I was afraid to answer, because all I could think of was "circus clown car?" (as in, how many disciples can you fit in this car to win a spot in the Guiness Book of World Records)
Finally he said, "Well, it was in the Bible--are you sure you don't know?"
"I'm afraid to guess."
So he tells me:
Are you ready?
Have you figured it out yet?
A Honda. The disciples were all in one Accord.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
WTF
I realize that I may very well be totally unique in my world-view. I realize that my entire life right now is pretty much exclusive to me. BUT I do think that I have a fair amount of common sense, integrity, and sanity. Even if the sanity portion is questioned on a daily basis, I can't imagine that my views on "how people should behave" is that out there.
Case in point:
In my many rants about the PTA, I've mentioned that after the January meeting, I had two ideas that could be helpful. I made phone calls to the appropriate persons. In both cases, I received return calls that said I had good, do-able ideas and that they'd let me know what else they may need.
In the one case, I did get another, later, call to confirm what I'd said, and to discuss the wording to go into the actual letter that needed to be written. A nice, friendly gesture to let me know that it was being taken seriously, and that the whole thing was appreciated.
In the second case, the next thing I heard about it was in the newsletter, sent home to approximately 600 families. A thank you, mentioning my name, but also leading me to believe that my idea was not only a good one, but that it was a done deal. Which, in itself is fine...except that I was NOT contacted regarding wording on a letter--if such a letter is in existance at all--and the wording makes it sound like I have promised this wonderful thing from my employer.
I am not the kind of person who will make a promise that I can't keep--and I won't make a promise on someone else's behalf. I tried to call this twit and so far, after 24 hours, have heard nothing back. I tried to find out through work, and, as far as anyone knows, there is NO letter from this group. (I got confirmation on the first one, though.)
Even if you totally disregard the fact that the guy who does make the decision regarding these things really really really doesn't like being backed into a corner--and he gets mean if you promise something on his behalf (aka "throwing his weight around"), it now looks as if I have done just that. Made a promise for something to people without consulting him.
I have enough grief with work right now; I don't need help generating it. It seriously looks to me like I'm going to have some 'splaining to do, Lucy, and I can say that I really don't appreciate it.
I also think that I may very well have to find a way to expose this woman as a jerk and a fraud. And never, ever, ever trust her with MY name and rep again.
WTF kind of person does that?
Why won't this woman call me back? Sweet Jesus! Why?!
Case in point:
In my many rants about the PTA, I've mentioned that after the January meeting, I had two ideas that could be helpful. I made phone calls to the appropriate persons. In both cases, I received return calls that said I had good, do-able ideas and that they'd let me know what else they may need.
In the one case, I did get another, later, call to confirm what I'd said, and to discuss the wording to go into the actual letter that needed to be written. A nice, friendly gesture to let me know that it was being taken seriously, and that the whole thing was appreciated.
In the second case, the next thing I heard about it was in the newsletter, sent home to approximately 600 families. A thank you, mentioning my name, but also leading me to believe that my idea was not only a good one, but that it was a done deal. Which, in itself is fine...except that I was NOT contacted regarding wording on a letter--if such a letter is in existance at all--and the wording makes it sound like I have promised this wonderful thing from my employer.
I am not the kind of person who will make a promise that I can't keep--and I won't make a promise on someone else's behalf. I tried to call this twit and so far, after 24 hours, have heard nothing back. I tried to find out through work, and, as far as anyone knows, there is NO letter from this group. (I got confirmation on the first one, though.)
Even if you totally disregard the fact that the guy who does make the decision regarding these things really really really doesn't like being backed into a corner--and he gets mean if you promise something on his behalf (aka "throwing his weight around"), it now looks as if I have done just that. Made a promise for something to people without consulting him.
I have enough grief with work right now; I don't need help generating it. It seriously looks to me like I'm going to have some 'splaining to do, Lucy, and I can say that I really don't appreciate it.
I also think that I may very well have to find a way to expose this woman as a jerk and a fraud. And never, ever, ever trust her with MY name and rep again.
WTF kind of person does that?
Why won't this woman call me back? Sweet Jesus! Why?!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Quarantine
The Mumples should be, by this time next week, on a full-fledged government crackdown--we should be forcibly quarantined.
The Howler started puking AGAIN this morning at 4:30am. I got to hold her little body as it was wracked with the spasms. I got to hold back her hair. I got to talk to ButtCrack at 5:30am to inform them that I was, yet again, not coming to work due to copious amounts of vomit.
While I'm sure they're happy that I'm not actively infecting others, I'm sure they're sitting around doubting that we're bringing it all up. That I am, in fact, making it all up. I wish I were. I'd rather get sleep during the hours of 4am and 6am. I'd rather not be holding anyone's head in the bucket (or toilet). I'd really, truly, honestly, rather be at work--even if it's Freak Day and they're bussing them in.
I'd also rather not argue with the 5 year old about whether or not she's taking the meds; I'd rather not listen to 2 solid hours of whinging about how her tummy hurts and whyyyyyyyyyyyy can't she have milk and cereal for breakfast.
I'd rather have dental work sans novacaine. I'd rather have an internal exam by a guy who hates women. I'd rather gouge my own eyes out; chew my own leg off; watch Wonder Pets for 6 hours with no commercial breaks.
Can a person actually apply for a quarantine?
Friday, February 08, 2008
Just Say No To Crack
Where I work, the uniform we are to wear is basically clean clothes that cover your body and a company provided vest or apron. Shorts can be no more than 4 or 5 inches above the knee, and must be khaki. No open toed or open backed shoes. Shirts with letters or pictures are okay--as long as the artwork is covered by your vest or apron. No see-thru or low-cut tops.Pretty basic, and easy to do.
At least you'd think so.
They've now added (whether it's corporate or just our store managers, I don't know) that your shirt cannot be seen below the bottom of your vest.
At least you'd think so.
They've now added (whether it's corporate or just our store managers, I don't know) that your shirt cannot be seen below the bottom of your vest.
I was recently asked to "tuck." I didn't tuck, though, as I had on a button-up over a long sleeved tee. I tied. As long as the shirt(s) were not seen below my vest, it was "okay."
I'm disturbed by this, mostly because we have a manager in the store, and at least 3 younger ladies in my department, who flash their asses when they bend over, and in some cases, when they move at all.
Now, I'm not talking about a little peek at what is probably a little too close to the coin slot, I'm talking about 3 inches of ass crack staring out the world.
I personally don't care if you don't mind the breeze, but I do NOT want to see ANYONE'S ass. Not at all. No part of anyone else's ass interests me. (Just ask my husband, and he's got a nice ass.)
What I take this to mean is that, while it is inappropriate to wear anything resembling Daisy Dukes to work, it is absolutely okay to show people your ass IF you're showing the them top portions--the ones that may sometimes be covered by your vest. BUT if you are making an effort to cover your ass in any fashion, it needs to be covered ONLY by your vest.
Personally, the asses that are flashing about are all at least 20 years younger than mine--and LOOK it. I wonder if the ass-peek would be kosher if it were MY ass they were seeing.
And, I just may need to find out.
Further thoughts:
Occasionally, there is a rash of tit-ulating action.
Now, I'll state here for the record also: I don't want to see anyone's tits, either. No part of anyone's tits interest me. Not the nipple (thank God I haven't even heard a rumor about that!), not the cleavage of a well dressed pair--no part, lump, dimple, or freckle.
In pondering this, I have come to some conclusions, that based on the written policy (I posted a paraphrase of the policy above, the actual policy is considered, I believe to be *intellectual property* and cannot be reproduced without my tongue turning green and my hair falling out).
In short, it goes like this: Any part of an associate's body that would be considered *normal* for the vest or apron to cover when said associate is standing in an upright position MAY be flashed, dressed or undressed, at the world as long as, when standing stock-still in an upright position, it IS indeed covered.
That means, ladies, that yer standard Daisy Dukes are out; yer ultra-low-rise-sans-butt-floss are in. Yer basic see-thru lace blouse is out; yer vee-neck-to-yer-navel is in. Oh, and bras are optional. Seeing actual nipple is still out; cold weather nipple awareness is in.
With these new guidelines, promotable employees will be duly noted for the cameras.
I'm disturbed by this, mostly because we have a manager in the store, and at least 3 younger ladies in my department, who flash their asses when they bend over, and in some cases, when they move at all.
Now, I'm not talking about a little peek at what is probably a little too close to the coin slot, I'm talking about 3 inches of ass crack staring out the world.
I personally don't care if you don't mind the breeze, but I do NOT want to see ANYONE'S ass. Not at all. No part of anyone else's ass interests me. (Just ask my husband, and he's got a nice ass.)
What I take this to mean is that, while it is inappropriate to wear anything resembling Daisy Dukes to work, it is absolutely okay to show people your ass IF you're showing the them top portions--the ones that may sometimes be covered by your vest. BUT if you are making an effort to cover your ass in any fashion, it needs to be covered ONLY by your vest.
Personally, the asses that are flashing about are all at least 20 years younger than mine--and LOOK it. I wonder if the ass-peek would be kosher if it were MY ass they were seeing.
And, I just may need to find out.
Further thoughts:
Occasionally, there is a rash of tit-ulating action.
Now, I'll state here for the record also: I don't want to see anyone's tits, either. No part of anyone's tits interest me. Not the nipple (thank God I haven't even heard a rumor about that!), not the cleavage of a well dressed pair--no part, lump, dimple, or freckle.
In pondering this, I have come to some conclusions, that based on the written policy (I posted a paraphrase of the policy above, the actual policy is considered, I believe to be *intellectual property* and cannot be reproduced without my tongue turning green and my hair falling out).
In short, it goes like this: Any part of an associate's body that would be considered *normal* for the vest or apron to cover when said associate is standing in an upright position MAY be flashed, dressed or undressed, at the world as long as, when standing stock-still in an upright position, it IS indeed covered.
That means, ladies, that yer standard Daisy Dukes are out; yer ultra-low-rise-sans-butt-floss are in. Yer basic see-thru lace blouse is out; yer vee-neck-to-yer-navel is in. Oh, and bras are optional. Seeing actual nipple is still out; cold weather nipple awareness is in.
With these new guidelines, promotable employees will be duly noted for the cameras.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Definition
So, last night at work was the first time I had to work, really, with this particular woman (no nick yet) after *the incident.*
The good news is, no one knows what exactly happened there, which is good--not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed, I just hate the Jr. Hi politics and I despise being talked about behind my back. To clarify: I don't care if you talk about me, but have the balls to say it to my face, or own up to it if I hear it otherwise; unfortunately, most people I work with simply do not have balls. Especially not the men, but I digress.
So, she seemed fine--no harm no foul--UNTIL I got a good look at the break board and starting doing my free-lance busywork thing. I was on the self checkouts (a sign of the apocalypse if you ask me). A boring place to be--and one attracts more stupidity and weirdness than usual.
I get it into my head that I will actually collect garbage and sweep. I need to find a push broom or a dust mop. I've done the sweeping gig with a regular broom and, uh, never again. I prefer to clean the toilets.
I also have to go on a fruitless search for garbage bags. I cover everywhere that they may be before I announce that there are none, and I need to pull some. I get the okay from Frodo, mostly because this woman isn't available for me to let her know.
After that, I got several passive-aggressive remarks about how much I talk. Sure, I talk a lot, but man, it's not like I was talking religion or politics. I was telling funny stories about the Weirdness Goddess I am. Nothing mean, either, just the conversational, observational ones.
I have narrowed down the problem--but at least now, I know what to watch for. *sigh* I really do not want to do this again.
The good news is, no one knows what exactly happened there, which is good--not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed, I just hate the Jr. Hi politics and I despise being talked about behind my back. To clarify: I don't care if you talk about me, but have the balls to say it to my face, or own up to it if I hear it otherwise; unfortunately, most people I work with simply do not have balls. Especially not the men, but I digress.
So, she seemed fine--no harm no foul--UNTIL I got a good look at the break board and starting doing my free-lance busywork thing. I was on the self checkouts (a sign of the apocalypse if you ask me). A boring place to be--and one attracts more stupidity and weirdness than usual.
I get it into my head that I will actually collect garbage and sweep. I need to find a push broom or a dust mop. I've done the sweeping gig with a regular broom and, uh, never again. I prefer to clean the toilets.
I also have to go on a fruitless search for garbage bags. I cover everywhere that they may be before I announce that there are none, and I need to pull some. I get the okay from Frodo, mostly because this woman isn't available for me to let her know.
After that, I got several passive-aggressive remarks about how much I talk. Sure, I talk a lot, but man, it's not like I was talking religion or politics. I was telling funny stories about the Weirdness Goddess I am. Nothing mean, either, just the conversational, observational ones.
I have narrowed down the problem--but at least now, I know what to watch for. *sigh* I really do not want to do this again.
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