'Splain Please

My birthday was at the beginning of the month. Now, for those who know me, they know that I don't make a big deal of my birthday, simply because there have been too many not-so-fun things that usually occur on that particular day. (I also decided that if I wanted to not make such a big deal out of other people's birthdays--therefore *getting off cheap* to quote my mother--I needed to have much the same attitude towards mine.



Most of the background, though, involves stories of plans made and broken due to: projectile vomiting; sparking appliances; and/or expensive car repair. None of it was worth it (and none of it--the fancy plans OR the minor disasters--made those birthdays more memorable.) I decided after the projectile vomiting that skipping the *specialness* of the day was way better for morale and bank accounts than trying to make my birthday worth the effort.



This year, my yearly exams were scheduled for the week following. Two doctors, two days. Lovely. Especially when that 2nd night, I started getting sick. Yeah, baby. So worth it.

But that's not what I need to have 'splained to me.

This is: On Monday, Doc #1 told me, and I quote, "You're young yet." But on Tuesday, Doc #2 tells me, and I quote, "You're not so young anymore, you know."

So, who do I believe? Doc-man, who is, himself, in his mid- to late-forties, or Doc-chick, who is probably all of 28?

In all honesty, the two biggest age related issues I have is that I just wish with all my might that this aging-as-woman thing would get the hell started (and therefore, OVER) and, at the exact same time, my brain needs to stop spinning at the thought that the songs I danced to at my senior prom are now considered "Oldies." I also would very much like to stop saying (Yes, out loud) "Holy CRAP! It was TWENTY FREAKING YEARS AGO! Am I old enough to be thinking in decades?"

Somebody 'splain WHO, ezzacktedly I'm supposed to believe on this young-old thing. And, somebody, please get these two docs together on their diagnosis.