Case In Point

Okay, so I really do attract the weirdos. And I can't, off hand, think of a movie (or book) that showcases the odd things that really do happen to me.

I had a boss once who said, "Mumple, your life is really weird. I don't know anybody else who has weird things happen to them like you do." She was right.

And seriously, I've tried to make this stuff up, and I can't.

Onto the points that make this case:

Saturday, I swapped with someone for about an hour. I was at Returns, which is Weirdness Hell. (It's also usually a Liar's Free-For-All, but Saturday was pretty quiet.)

I answered the phone. A non-familiar Voice says, "Are you open?"

Me: Yes. 7am to 9pm today.

V: Oh, I was wondering.

(Let me interject here that Saturday we got hammered by Mother Nature with snow and winds. We got somewhere between 8 and 12 inches of snow in about 12 hours. Not fun.)

M: Yes, we're open regular store hours: 7am to 9pm.

V: I'm blah blah blah and I work at blah blah blah next to you there. I was trying to decide if I should go to work or not. If you're open, they're probably open too. *sigh*

M: Yes. We're Open.

V: Okay, then. Thanks, bye.

Am I the only person on the planet who thinks this is weird? If I wanted to know if where I worked was open, I'd call there. Not a few doors down.

It reminds me of a few years ago when I answered the phone one morning at work and this idiot calls and wants to know the store hours--of the video store nearby. I patiently explain that she didn't call the video store, and she cuts me off and says, "I know that. They're not open yet. I wanted to know if you knew their hours."

Color me stupid, but at 7:30am on any given morning, I am not the most awake nor the most aware person on the planet, so I told her that I wasn't even sure there was a video store there. She didn't know the name of it either--apparently that was my job that day too.

And along those lines, but not involving the phone, several years ago, I also had a man asking me questions about what the dollar store carried. I told him several times, "I don't know. I don't work there. I never worked there." He was offended, because apparently, I look like someone who spends a lot of time taking inventory in stores I don't work at.

Where do they find them, and why do they keep sending them to me?