Nothing Costs $100

So, the Toad did something to the Beast.

We're not sure what, exactly, as he's not speaking up. He was driving it for at least several days with it "dog tracking" down the road. How he managed to stay in his lane is beyond us. He claims he hit "nothing" and that it must be something with the power steering.

Apparently, he thought that, much like a Borg ship, it would self-repair and self-correct.

The Idiot. Anyone who has driven anything would be able to tell there was something seriously messed up on this car. Anyone who had previously driven this car could tell there was something messed up on this car.

The rear passenger side wheel was, to use the technical term, WONKY. Absolutely at an angle that is not normal for a tire on a safely functioning car. There was a chunk of the aluminum wheel gone.

When Kevin got underneath it, he could see scrapes and dings--with no dirt or rust. No way this happened weeks ago.

The boy is still saying, "It must've been when I spun out." and "I thought it was the power steering." As if, between self-proclaimed Car Guy Stepdad Kevin and myself, we're total morons. Does he think we're Amish and have never driven a car?

Anyway, a new, matching aluminum wheel cost $50 and the alignment cost $47.95. AND we may have to take it to a body shop to get the body straightened out. It depends on how it drives--like we trust the Toad's assessment at this point.

The Toad is rather surprised at how much we DO actually know about what he did, and he's more surprised about the cost. Self-repair isn't as cheap as he thought, I expect.

My frustration level is at it's limit. Perhaps, if he were a true idiot-savant, and not just playing one on TV, I'd be less angry and frustrated. He doesn't have the common sense God gave a goat, and he seems to think that this is somehow my fault.

During the first conversation I had with him about the damage to the Beast, he implied that, because he's 18 and has only had his license a month, somehow I was missing the point. He got pissy because, apparently, I've been through all this before, and he hasn't. He is under the impression that he has older brothers and sisters that I have parented and raised, but have never met.

I can honestly say that as much as I believe it totally sucks sideways to be a teenager, I can say that it sucks worse to be the parent of one.

The Beast

There's a reason I do not like that car.

First, it was Kevin's car. He drove it, so it was totally his choice. Fine. I can live with that, as long as I don't have to drive it much.

So I don't.

Then, Kevin buys a truck (before you get all excited thinking that I have lots of money, we've had the car 3 years, and it's paid off). We decide that since the Toad is getting his driver's license, and we said we'd buy him a car, we'll give him this car instead. Toadwort likes that idea--he wanted that car anyway, and any other car we attempt to buy him will cost us what this one is worth... either the car itself will cost that much, or keeping the new heap on the road will.

I continue to happily drive my van, except for a few occasions, the most memorable of which I've already reported here.

So, in a continuing effort to give the Toad driving time, I take him to work in *his* car, so he can drive. Joy. I am slowly coming to hate the Beast.

Why?

We've been keeping in my neighbor's garage. She doesn't have a car and doesn't drive, so she's totally fine with that.

So, Toad goes to work. I drive home.

The problem? The garage is situated such that it's best to back in to park.

I hate backing the Beast up more than I hate driving it. I voice my concerns to Kevin, and he, being the epitome of quick thought and correct memory, tells me, "Back it up. Don't be a sissy."

I pull into the driveway. I pull ahead, then commence backing up procedures.

I hit the freaking house! (Did I mention that it's an attached garage?) Luckily, I didn't damage the house.

Toad driving: $45 permit
Toad car: $3500
Mom backing Toad car into house: $45 damage
Kevin having a good laugh at my expense: PRICELESS

It's a Mumple Kind of Life

As I've said before, my life seems to be modelled on a sitcom. And not just any kind of sitcom, mind you, nothing less than a WB sitcom .

Case in point: Today I woke up ten minutes late. You'd think, for normal people, that this really isn't worth mentioning. Hurry a bit and you'll catch up--no problem.

Not so in the Land of Mumple.

Everything was going along okay--catching up was actually happening--and I wasn't going to be late for work.

Then I stepped outside.

Last night, I had made the decision to take the car--the car that I rarely drive. The only reason we have the Beast is that when Kevin bought the truck, we decided to keep the car for 5 months for the Toad.....and in January, it becomes his.

When we got a 3rd key made, I gave the Toad the keyfob--I don't drive the car that much, "I won't need it."

HAH!

Yesterday, I took the car to pick the Toad up from work. Nothing bad happened, other than a crappy job parking the Beast when we got home. The car sat innocently awaiting it's prey, where it gets parked at the neighboring house, on the other side of the fence. I did not lock it with the keyfob.

Apparently, when you lock it with the keyfob, it sets the alarm.

An alarm, surprisingly enough, that can only be shut off with the keyfob. 6:50am is NOT the time to discover this. The alarm was activated when I unlocked the car with the key.

I had to go back through the latched gate, up across the yard, and into the house (Thank God I hadn't locked the door behind me) to get the fob. The alarm is blaring.

I grab the wrong fob.

I'm walking back across the yard, alarm still blaring. I'm hitting buttons on the fob like a mad woman, trying to shut off the alarm. In reality, what I'm doing is unlocking and locking the truck--which is parked behind me. The alarm is still blaring.

I have to go back into the house, get the right fob, and then walk back across the yard hitting buttons to shut the damned alarm off.

Needless to say, I was late for work today. But I'll bet everyone else in the neighborhood was up and at work early.