The First

Stop me if you've heard this one:

The first ever nutjob I experienced at work (other than the run-of-the-mill cranks) was a doozy. I still remember her to this very day.

Play along with me, you saying the parts in bold.

We start our little game in the garden center.

How can I help you today?

I need a 40 pound bag of Quikrete.

Okay. *looks up number on register*

Do you know if it will be enough?

Enough for what?

To make concrete. Will a 40 pound bag be enough? *I was on the road, already up to 80+ miles an hour and into that wall, before I even knew I was in the car*

No, I mean, what will you be using it for?

*sigh* To make concrete. Will a 40 pound bag be enough?

Yes. *eye roll*

Okay. Great! How big will that bag be?

It'll be 40 pounds.

No, I mean how big will it be?

It'll be 40 pounds. *told you I was headed into the wall*

No no no! Dimension-wise. How big will it be?

Half the size of an 80 pound bag.

Oh, okay. Great!

There's a reason I am the self-proclaimed Weirdness Goddess.