Giving The People What They Want

And I'm all about giving the bleeting masses what they want.

So, until further notice, I am stoopid. I cannot bend at the waist. I cannot see the obvious. I cannot move faster than my chin hairs can grow. I cannot retain any new knowledge. I cannot read for content. I cannot do more than the dumbest, slowest moving coworker I have.

They know I was mad today--and even if they know WHY I'm mad, they won't bother to ask for clarification, and they certainly won't change it.

I know the mentality is that, well, Mumple is here, and SHE will do it all.

Quite honestly, I'm tired of rushing around, trying to cover all the holes in the dyke like the little Dutch Boy. I ain't got enough fingers anymore.

See that red light blinking on the SCO? You'd better go get it.

Hear that alarm going off because YOU didn't deactivate the tag in some high-theft item? You'd better go get it.

If you ask me why I'm not moving, thinking, doing, you'd better be prepared for the answer, "oh, yeaaaaaah. I was just gonna do 'at." *dopey smile*

If you ask me to move the carts out of the way, they're getting moved EXACTLY 10-12 feet from my station.

Since we all seem to LIKE the dopes, I'm gonna be one. Since we all seem to treat the dopes with more respect than those who have EARNED it, I'm gonna be a dope.

Oh, and if you don't see me, it's because I'm gonna stand where ain't nobody gonna see me and expect me to do sumptin'.

'Cuz that's the way you like it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.