Back Up

On Rant:

So, in my neighborhood, as we all know, there are some interesting people. I use the word interesting in the loosest possible way.

The one family--the one with Dolly and Urchin--are baaaa-aack. And I'm her bestest best friend EVER. Whether I want to be or not.

Bleah.

Let me explain. Late last winter, she & Urchin moved back. Yippee. Dolly & Urchin spent Memorial Day weekend raiding my cupboards & fridge. Then they spent June & July rooting through our non-edible stuff. No matter what kind of snit I pitched, the next time they were up, it was like a free-for-all, and no matter what I banned them from before, they were onto bigger and better things later.

I also didn't like the group trips to the bathroom--that's a sure-fire way to have children where children don't belong. Meaning, "In MY Stuff."

Anyway, both the Grocery Gobblers (or G-Squared as my Sweetie has been calling them) are in the Howler's school this year. And, Dolly is in her class. Great. Like I need this stress.

The Incident of August had already prompted us to put an end to the free-for-all time the Howler spent with these girls. (In a nutshell, mine took a dare--a dare that was waaaay inappropriate for this age group to have made; of course, mine had consequences for taking a dare such as this, even though I understand fully that at 7 years old, NOT taking a dare is like NOT breathing.)

The Howler was happy to be in Dolly's class, but I've noticed, whether because of my edict or because the Howler has other fish to fry, they don't hang out much at school. Alleluia!

With school starting, this Mom of the Year has decided to be more involved--in the girls' lives, and their school. Great. I've urged and urged her to concentrate on her own daughter's class (4th grade) and so far, it's not working.

She's up my ass like ugly on an ape. I can't get rid of her at PTA meetings or at parties and things at school.

I'm sorry, but at the meetings, particularly AFTER the meetings, I have other people I want or need to talk to, and in all honesty, some of what may need to be discussed are NOT things for just any-ol'-body to hear. With privacy issues being a hotbed of pissiness, I do not need an extra appendage with size Double D hooters hanging on to me.

And, then, two days later, at the Fall Festival, I got there early as the 2nd in command for our room, and there she was. Up my ass. Again. I couldn't hardly get away from her. I actually took my camera, and handed her the PTA's camera, and told her to take the camera, and take whatever pics she could get of whatever classes she could. (We, the PTA board, are trying to get plenty pics taken throughout the year for the yearbook.) I deliberately ditched her and headed the opposite direction.

As soon as she saw me again, she glommed onto me and wouldn't let go again. If I moved across the room to see what the kids were doing, she was there. Her "own" child was opposite in the room of mine, and yet, there she was, attached to me.

There's no polite way to tell someone to get out of your ass, is there? I've tried to find one. It doesn't exist. I'm afraid I may need to contact the homeroom parent of her actual daughter's class and BEG her to keep this woman busy--and an entire floor away from me.

Either that, or I can only hope that she gets bored well before the end of the year, because somehow, I think that telling her to "back the f&k up, and get out of my ass" isn't going to go over well.