No, Really, You ARE Stupid

Today, Frodo came out to the garden center acting all Secret Squirrel. He tells me, in his special Secret Squirrel Voice, that since the Weasel has left the building, and he's now totally in charge, the garden center will be closing. (Oh, yeah, I was OUTSIDE!!!!!! Today. Mood much improved, thanks for asking)

So, I go inside. Supposed to go to Lumber (killmekillmenow) and Frodo pages me, while I'm switching into my indoor glasses (btw, those prescription shades are about fantastic! Nobody can see my eyes rolling!) to tell me that I'm to go to the front line instead.

I spent 6 hours outside with little to no freakiness showing up. Other than myself, I mean. I'm inside for all of 3 minutes, and I have BillyJoeJimBob talking to me about whether or not he would need the cooler/dispenser contraption for the 5 gallon jugs of water. And asking if I know 'bout how much them thar thingies wood cost." Er, uh, I'm sorry, I don't. I'm trying not to actually look at any living breathing person, because, honestly, when this guy starting asking me if I thought he could just buy the 5 gallon jug and use it without the dispenser thingy, I was about be all "HAH!" at this guy.

Now, the pure genius that is the Hellhole has a person at the customer service desk who doesn't have access to at least 50% of the screens she needs to do the job. So this increases my chances of freakiness finding me. She looks over at me, and asks if I can do the credit card application, because she doesn't have access. (When Frodo shows up, I tell him--that's right, I'm not asking--to get her the access she needs, if he's gonna put her at that desk. I may have said, "DUH" in there also.)

The credit card application process itself is fairly simple...provided you can remember your address. Unlike Contestant #1, who fills out his address wrong. The best part is the more I tried to find the phrasology that would clue him in to this, the more he said, "What do you mean?"

No, Really, Dude, You ARE Stupid.