New Moon, sans vampires

I've had several weeks of random stupidity I've collected for just this one post.

The hairy guy who walked to the back of the garden center, then came back up front. Huffing and puffing past several of the large, flat blue carts to say, "I need that cart." Reaching for the one cart in the entire place that already has merchandise on it. I tell him, "uh, no, sir. That's being used. I can..." He grabs that cart, and says, "Yup. This one right here." I tell him again, "No, sir, there are other..." He is insistant: THIS one, right HERE. Right now. I have to physically take the cart (with someone else's stuff) and tell him I'll call and get someone to get him one. Hairy guy wanders away to the back of the garden center.

Nutjob woman who wants to know the price of a bag of potting soil. I ask questions about which brand, size, formula...and she bitches me out, saying, "You can't never get no help 'round here."

Woman who brought me a cart of plants and said she was ready to pay...then, as I scan the crap, she says, "Oh, I'll be right back." and wanders off. Other customers come up, so I clear my screen. She comes back, with one more thing, plunks it down and says, "I'm ready." I start to scan everything again, and she says, "Oh, I'll be right back." AGAIN! So I clear my screen, ring out others...and she reappears and says, "Don't you have all this ready to go yet?"

A dipwad who cam up and asked if she could use a specific flat blue cart. I tell her, "yes" of course. She then asked if it was the "right cart" as opposed to the left one, I suppose. I do the good customer service thing...and ask her what she's going to use it for. She tells me "Fencing" so I ask her which kind of fencing. She replies, "6 foot." Because that makes it totally clear! I show her the other options for carts: she demands to know if this is the "right cart." Since I am unable to commit to the decision for her, she gets pissed, snaps "Oh, never mind! I just wanted to know if this was the right cart." and leaves. Ta-ta fuckwit!

Genius who comes up to the farthest register--the one that is closed up, covered over, and is practically impossible to actually get to since it's covered with dustpans, brooms, coats, and various useless items that no one has thrown out yet--and squawks "is this open for business?" I tell her that "yes, I am" and walk over, scan her crap and move back to the register that is actually being used that day. She drags herself and her stuff over to me (finally) and pays. When I move to hand her the change, she shakes open her very large carpet bag and says, "Just chuck it in here dearie"

Woman who juggles her way to the register with a large bag of bird seed, a bird feeder and suet cakes. She refuses to set any of it down until I've scanned it (seriously, what's with people who refuse to let me do my job in an efficient manner? Do they think I'm going to swap what they've actually chosen for something else? Or that I'll smash it to hell and back and still expect them to pay for it? What?) After she juggles things so I can ring them up, she sets them down. Then she walks off without the bird feeder or the suet cakes.