They Said WHAT?!!!

I swear to God, I heard the Little Einsteins say "penis." I believe the sentence was "Do you see the penis?"

Never mind that the words some bozo writes for the classical music are insipid and stupid. More likely to get stuck in your head than Laurie Berkner's "Victor Vito," these words--and the classical tune they are supposed to improve for young children--will get stuck in your head. FOR YEARS.

I still, 2 years after having seen the show once, I find "I love, I love, I love I love ballooooooons" still playing.

I admit I wasn't listening well (and God knows I cannot stomach watching this tripe) but I'd swear that's what was said.

Today, Bach is rolling in his grave.

And Another Thing

about my sweetie:

He drives me crazy because if he's watching something on TV or reading the paper, he doesn't like to be disturbed. He has nothing to say, yet, he'll want me to sit with him, doing nothing.

If I don't want to watch what he's watching, he'd still like it very much if I sit with him.

If he's reading the paper, he wants me to not talk (much) and let him read it, but he'd still like me to be in the room with him.

But if I'm watching something he doesn't want to watch, or if I'm reading something, he'll talk to me UNTIL I stop whatever and look at him. Then he'll be quiet.

He will sometimes, though, sit quietly through commercials and talk ONLY during the program.

If that fails, he'll get the phone and call someone to talk to. Then, he'll sit next to me, while I'm watching TV, and talk REALLY REALLY LOUDLY. And mostly during the program. If I mute the show, he'll leave the room. If I leave the room, he'll follow me.

The Upside to this is that I don't watch much TV. The Downside is that unless it's Law & Order, he'll do this almost EVERY time.

Then he gets upset when I spend *too much* time on the computer, or I stay up late to be able to watch what I want to (or read) without interruption.

It's irritating, and in all the time we've been together, I cannot get him to break this habit.

In his defense, he's not deliberately rude like this. And he's not mean about it or anything. He's just annoying this way, and he doesn't get that because HE's not interested, it doesn't mean that I'm not.

Sometimes, I think he's got some subliminal issue with not being the center of my attention.

Sometimes, though, I think that this is some man-gene thing he's got, and that he honestly cannot control it--much like the color of his eyes, or how tall he is.

All the time, though, it's annoying.

Them Dukes!

Kevin was flipping channels and he discovered that CMT is now showing The Dukes of Hazard reruns.

He said, and I kid you not, "I want to see the end of this."

As if there is even ONE episode of The Dukes of Hazard that didn't have:

At least one car chase

A car chase that involved Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrain

A scheme cooked up by Boss Hogg and Roscoe to get them Duke boys in jail and make Boss as much money as he weighs at the same time

Uncle Jesse giving 'em some good advice that gets twisted, somehow, into meaning "have a car chase, and blow something up"

Daisy serving beer at the local juke joint and wearing those Daisy Duke short shorts

Finally, there needs to be either Enos flirting like a dork with Daisy or Cooter fixin' some car (but rarely both).

At the end, the Duke boys are not in jail, Boss Hogg is blaming Roscoe for whatever went wrong, Uncle Jesse is using his "Mad Jack & Number 7" laugh, Daisy has on a pair of Daisy Dukes, and Boss Hogg has lost money, instead of making it.

Sometimes, to mix it up a bit, Boss will eat a doughnut or some crab legs. If it was a sweeps week episode, he'd eat both.

Now, how, exactly, does Kevin figure he didn't know how this episode ended? I mean, I haven't watched the Duke Boys kick ass and take names since about 9th grade, and I know how this episode ended.

I think he just wanted to see Daisy in them shorts!

(as a side note, do you think that she knew those were Daisy Dukes when wardrobe handed them to her that very first day of filming? Do you think wardrobe lied to her about them? "Naw, hunny, they's got a seat in 'em. You just wear 'em. You see."

Just a Thought

I'll keep this short and to the point:

Kappa Mikey, from Nickelodeon.

Beyond stupid, but also vulgar. I wonder how much is intentional, just to see how stupid Nick Studios are.

There are 2 characters whose names just make me want to go there just to bitch slap whoever decided this would be something that should be aired.

The word GUANO, for the record, sounds familiar for a reason. Correct me if I'm wrong, but GUANO is bat shit. That should be reason enough to have the scheduling exec at Nick Studios beaten to a bloody pulp.

BUT, then we hear Kappa Mikey looking for a character named GONAR. Sorry, but this seems very much like a barely consealed attempt to use the word GONAD on children's television.

I seriously think that the geniuses who devised this show should be *shit canned*--literally. Cover 'em in real GUANO and bounce them on their GONARs.