Right Now

I'm work stressed. It's not attractive, and I'm still sorting it out.

Basically, it comes down to Orwell's phrase: All animals are created equal, but pigs are more equal than other animals.

I'm not saying that I work with pigs. I'm not a farmer. But there are definite discrepancies in how the rules are applied--and who gets listened to and who doesn't.

I'm one of the "doesn'ts."

I am required to tell no less than 4 people when I need to be relieved on time at the end of my shift. And I need to tell those 4 people as early (read: hours ahead of time) as possible. I am also required to not leave written messages, and I am also supposed to remind at least 1 of those 4 people when it gets close to the end of my shift.

Yet, when I do, something else ALWAYS comes up (and it's always in the guise of "a customer issue"). If I am heard, the response is "yeah, whatever."

But there are others in the same department, with the same job description I have, who can *forget* to let anyone know when she needs out EARLY, but there's always coverage for her when she needs it. She can tell them with as little as 25 minutes to spare.

I'm still wondering how in the F* that works.

I can list my faults here, but anyone who knows me already knows them. The only common denominator in the entire thing is ME. That apparently makes it my fault.

Yep. That's the only way we can read this:

It's my fault when my supervisors can't (or won't) hear me.

It's my fault when my supervisors decide to *punish* me with crappy assignments. When they keep me from leaving at my scheduled time, but others, who are younger, can leave well before their scheduled times. (Usually, to go to the bar, or some cool party.)

I'm not one to play the gender or age card, but I see that there is a discrimination against me--if I were 20 years younger (said drinking to be done as underage) or if I were physically one of the guys, then it would not only be A-OK for me to sneak out early, it would be up to everyone else to do my share of whatever after-closing work there is to do.

It's annoying; it's frustrating. It's pissing me off. Again or Still, I haven't figured out yet.

The part that is the most obnoxious about it is that it seems to be a store/company/corporate kind of mind-set. It doesn't matter who my supervisors are; it doesn't matter how well-behaved or (gag) nice I am being. Actually, if anything, the nicer I am, the more well behaved I am, the worse I am treated.

I don't enjoy being mean and nasty (or nagging)--but I do have exacting standards that, while they meet-and-exceed the company set policies, don't seem to be appreciated (or rewarded) by the local powers-that-be. Actually, if anything, they seem to be punishable.

I alternate, in this arena, between being invisible and unintelligible and being forced into the conformity of laziness and shallowness.

Being a fully-realized human being is, apparently, a liability. Being an intelligent, competent person leaves me with a harassement target settled squarely upon my back.

I can't lower my standards, and I can keep my mouth shut for only so long. I should take bets on how long I can do this before my head explodes. Any takers?