Kill Me. Kill Me RIGHT. NOW.

Yet again, I'm on vacation...and in Hell.

Why am I in Hell? I am apparently not doing enough (read: everything that needs done) to see to it that the 19-year-old Toad begins college classes next week. How it works out to be MY responsibility is anyone's guess.

No. Really. I want to hear others' guesses on how it is the mother's job to do everything annoying and inconveniencing the Toad doesn't want to do?

Lately, I'm getting this crap from two fronts: my mother, of course (because only she really truly sincerely loves him) and my aunt (who is, just now, totally insane.)

Neither of these women seems to understand these basic facts:

For years now, I have been unable to motivate, threaten into motivation, cajole, coerce, demand, pout (not that I actually pout, mind you, but apparently, I'm supposed to), guilt, or otherwise force the Toad into having some ambition and work ethic.

Nevermind that for longer than the years of unmotivated unmodifiable behavior, my mother has been undermining my decisions, my goals, and my ability to threaten, etc., the Toad. She's encouraged him to lie to me...and is majorly pissed off since he's now using that particular avoidance mechanism on her.

My aunt, on the other hand, thinks that I should call (or go) to his workplace and "talk with his manager yourself about them working around his class schedule."

Is it just me or are these people beyond "lost touch with reality"? Am I the crazy one to think that when I announced, four years ago, that I cannot and will not make myself physically (or mentally) ill in order to give THEM what they demand from the Toad (read: if he won't do it, I should for him)?

And now, on top of this insanity, it's my job to figure out how to get extra 15% off coupons for this aunt. Who can't drive. Who seems to live and die for the $1.00 she'll save on a clearanced blouse for a 5 year old next week.

I'm not making this up. I saw her Monday night, when she called and demanded that I bring her up the used and void coupon of that day to her. RIGHT. NOW.

At that time I informed her that we would be leaving on Tuesday, and we'd be home on Thursday. She called yesterday, an hour and a half after we got home, and wanted to know if I got those coupons yet. She wanted me to get online RIGHT. NOW. to get them.

She called this morning, at 10am, to ask if I had them yet. She wanted me to get online RIGHT. NOW. and get them.

I'm about to blow up at the woman, recuperating from surgery or not. I'm about to tell her that I think it's stealing to print off more than one coupon after taking that stupid survey. I want to tell her that I'd rather *gasp* pay full price for everything I ever buy again rather than listen to her incessant demands for more coupons that will save her, at most, $5 per purchase--purchases that aren't for her, and aren't needed, not by me, not by the dozen other people she's buying them for.

Oh, and with the price of gas (even if it is under $4/gal locally right now) is costing her every blessed penny she's saving with these coupons.

I want to call her up and tell her I'll bring her my unusable receipt and she can fold it three corners and stuff it...RIGHT. NOW.