Tourists!

Yes, more about the random oddities I encounter at work. Recently, one of my co-workers told the story about a caller wanting the phone number for a local grocery store...the caller, deciding that it was too much of a bother to look the number up for herself, called our store wanting us to look it up for her.

I can beat that.

A few weeks ago, I watched as a dopey looking woman came in the doors, plunked herself into one of the motorized carts, and drove off. She came back a short while later, parked the cart she was using up against the entry doors, and began unplugging the extention cords that power all the Christmas crap in the Seasonal department. When I asked if I could help her find something, she said she needed one of those carts that worked. I had to practically pry the 4 foot cords away from her. Why she was gathering the extention cords (she was looping them over her shoulder to take them with her) I don't even want to know.

Last night, I took a transferred-to-me call during which the customer, when asked how I could help him, said, "I don't know. They just sent me to you." I had to actually ask three times "What were they helping you with?" for him to tell me repeatedly, "I don't know." After ping-ponging the call back and forth, we were finally able to get him what he needed...and then he wanted to know if we could deliver his crap to him on Thanksgiving day. "I understand you're not open on Thanksgiving, but it'd be better for me if you could deliver that day anyway."

The evening progressed to the hyperactive men who couldn't just answer my easy questions (Is it broken? and Do you have your receipt with you today?) They each had to give me an entire purchase history...one even asked me, as I handed him the receipt he needed to sign, "Doncha have sumpin' for me to sign?" As he signed it, he added his address, phone number, and various minutia about himself. In case he ever ended up as a Trivial Pursuit answer I'd be prepared, I guess.

Finally, the absolute bestest ever asked me, "Have you ever been to the Falls?"

I answered, "I'm sorry?"

"You know, Niagara Falls."

"uh, years ago, yes."

"Do you know if they're still running the boats? The schedule for the boats, I mean."

Yes, folks, I'm not only supposed to know why you call into my store, every detail of your life in the 10 years since my store opened, phone numbers and hours for random area businesses, I'm also supposed to know the tourist attractions and their schedules in CANADA.