OOOOOOOOOOOOO-kay

Today was a lovely day at the return desk! No, really, it was. Right up til the end:

Mumple: How may I direct your call?

Phil: er, uh, I'm calling from DerGrowndhawgtown, an' uh, we were up dare an' got this here microwave. We need to know what ter do, cuz, the #2 quit workin' an' then 'nother number, an' now it turns on by itself, an' we cain't git it ter shut off or paws or nuttin' like dat. We want to bring it back. Can we do dat?

M: Okay.

Phil: er, well, we want ter bring it back.

M: Okay.

Phil: It's stainless steel, an' we like it an' all. Butta coupla numbers don' work an' it turns on by itself. Whut kin we do?

M: You can bring it back.

Phil: We wanna bring it back.

M: Okay.

Phil: So we kin jus' bring it back then?

M: Ayup.

Phil: er, uh, we can bring it back. Is there a special place we can bring it?

M: The return desk is right inside the main entrance doors. Bring it there, and we'll take care of it.

Phil: Jus' bring t'in?

M: Yes.

Phil: well, er, whut er yer 'ours up dare?

M: 7am to 9pm Monday through Saturday; 9am to 6pm on Sundays.

Phil: mmmmmmmmm. 9 to 6 on Sunday. Whut 'bout them dare udder sex days?

M: 7am to 9pm Monday through Saturday.

Phil: 'n we kin bring it back?

M: Yes.

Phil: k. bye.

Oh, how I wanted to tell him the hours of the store around my schedule. He'll be in tomorrow morning, or Saturday night...how do I know? Am I psychic? Hell no, he'll be in to tell me whole sorry story. Me. Me. Me. How they love me, and must come worship me.