How Was Your Day?

Mine was about as Mumpletastic as it gets.

First, I discover that they've taken away all the stuff I've managed to acquire that we generally NEED in the garden center. Like the phone book, so I can actually call for competitor price verification, which saves me time swearing under my breath as I either sit on hold, or have some fuckwit not listen to me tell them what I actually need while they explain the price match policy to me. Then I get to grit my teeth in an unattrative fashion and say things like, "Okay. Now, I'm going to tell you again what I need, you're going to fucking listen this time."

Second, the monitor on the register customers are trained to come to died. Well, not died, exactly, just decided that 1/8th of an inch is all the visibility we needed.

Third, I had to call the un-help desk, where they were first confused that I technically have two last names, and then they had to transfer me to the superior not-listening clueless guy. He told me to just look around the back of the monitor...K, Dude, I have to put down the phone, walk around the metal kiosk, open the little sliding window...THEN look around the back of the monitor. He kept telling me that it's set up "just like your computer monitor at home, ma'am." Yeah, well, whatever. Should've told him I have a lap top. Let him tell me it's the same thing then! Idiot. Then Captain Clueless kept telling me that I was looking for a blue cord or a blue plug with the side screws. Sure, sure I am. What part of "I have a white cord and a black cord are you not understanding?" Continuing to stress the "OR" in your lack of reality is not helping me. Finally, I just put the phone down, close the sliding window, walk back around the front of my register, pop off the front plate (the one we're told to never-ever-never touch) and tell him, "I'm taking off the front plate thing to see the cords in there." To which the Cap'n tells me "It's on the back of your monitor ma'am." (You fucking think so? Am I stuttering, or do you just not understand English?) I find the blue plug, but since the keyboard is on a short leash and can't be moved very far, and I do not have freakishly small hands, I have to actually contort my arms and twist my wrists in order to touch it, nevermind being able to unscrew it. (and btw, Cap'n, you continuing to tell me that the reality suckage I'm experiencing isn't really like that isn't helping.) Unplug, jiggle jiggle, twist, scrape, owie, plug in. "Ma'am, your monitor is dead. Here's your Incident #, and we'll have someone there to pretend to fix it by the end of this year." LOVELY.

Fourth, the guy who was in who demanded, while I was scanning another present customer's merchandise, that I tell him where the "shields" were. Gave him my best guess and continued scanning. He demanded again, that I tell him if we had the very specific "shields" he wanted...got pissed, stomped back out to his vehicle, and peeled out of the parking lot. Ta ta, you ass.

Fifth, working with the Turnip.

Sixth, the woman who wanted the cheap-o, but not clearanced hanging baskets. When told where they were, and how to identify them ("out front, point to right, on the A-frame) she wandered out front shrieking, "A? What's an A? Do you know what she meant by A?"

We come to the end of my day...and I ask you, again, where do they find them and why do they keep sending them to me?