Leprosy

Great. Just great.

I finally found an accountant who will look at what we have, listen to what we're saying, AND give conditional advice.

He says, "You need a lawyer who can help you get the information you have about the debt (and the other party who owes it with you) to the IRS." (We already have what we believe will suffice as legal proof.) And he gives us the name of who he would use.

So, I call them. I wanted to cry. (I didn't even want to cry on Monday, when the letter actually came.)

I understand that the legal secretary is the Gatekeeper. I understand she has a responsibility. I realize that any lawyer is going to be busy. But, to be told then, that "we don't handle that kind of thing. You need to talk to the person who did your taxes that year."

And when I explain (I've already told her who suggested I call them) that I've talked to "my people"(HAH! Do not let their ads fool you--they will deal ONLY with the quickest and easiest way to get it away from them) about it; AND I talked to a specific lawyer who suggested a CPA; AND the CPA I did call before talking to the accountant who recommend their office STILL hasn't returned my call....

Basically, the CPAs/accountants say it's a legal matter and the lawyers say it's a tax matter for the CPAs.

Somebody strap on a set and HELP me. I'll do it my own dammed self, but I have to know where to begin! For fuck's sake, I'll PAY YOU any amount of fucking money. Just HELP me. I know I'm in over my head. I know that I'm paying something, and I'll pay it--I just refuse to pay that nasty exwife bitch's half. It's THAT simple.

Hell, it's not even my fucking debt, and I'm willing to pay it.

I'm to the point where I'm trying to figure out if I qualify as a stupid person for marrying My Sweetie and this unholy problem.

Luckily, my mother was with me, and after I was almost in tears over the most recent lawyer refusal, she suggested I call the accountant back.

He called and left a message for the lawyer (they've worked together before) so he can try to explain that it's more of a legal matter involving taxes than a tax matter.

I'm afraid that part of why they don't want to deal with me is the last name. I swear to God, if it turns out that this is part of it, I'm staying married, but taking back my maiden name straight up.