Phonophobia

It's a real thing, and it's really called that.

It's also really really annoying.

Why am I ranting about this now? The Smiling Cashier is afraid to use the phone. If she's covering one of the desks, you can bet your sweet ass that YOU will be answering the phone. In the off-hand chance she does answer the phone, she's going to transfer it to you anyway, no matter how deep in customer issues you may be.

She's also not going to answer simple questions regarding return policy (even though, it's my opinion that if you work for this retail megalomonolith, you should be able to know and understand the basic return policy by the time you've collected 2 paychecks--process a return? Not necessarily, but understand the policy that directs the return process: Yes, absolutely.

She doesn't page. Most of the time, if she has dialed the 3 digits that will connect her to the person most able to provide her with change/register tape/whatever and has either reached a busy signal OR is not connected, she simply gives up.

She generally doesn't dial the 3 digits that will connect her to a supervisor, manager, or department.

A few days ago, she was at the return desk (hence the beginning of the rant about not answering the simplest of questions) and she asks ME to call the guy with the key to get her register tape. I told her, out of sheer frustration at her stupidity, "I'm not a head cashier. Call 806." Unfortunately, 806 was walking near me at that point, so I had no choice but to do her bidding. Damm!

Last night, she walked PAST 3 other red vests, and several phones to ask me to call a department for a customer. It took everything I had to not pick up the phone, hand it to her, dial the numbers and tell HER to do the talking.

Afterwards, I turned to 806 and said, "PLEASE TEACH HER TO USE THE PHONE! Did you see her WALK AWAY FROM THE PHONE NEAREST TO HER, past a bank of working phones and TWO OTHER people to ask ME to do her job for her? TEACH HER TO USE THE PHONE. TODAY." What the hell does she do when I'm not there?

And then they call me "mean" when I say things like she couldn't find her ass with both hands, a map, and a tour guide.