Stop Me If You've Heard This One

So, way back in January or so, after I joined Time Suck Central, I got a friend request from a person I knew way back in college (1986 or so.) She's not someone I was close with, and in all honesty, she was a classic insecure shrew. She cost me friends, people I still miss terribly. And she made me doubt my own sanity. And no matter what I did, she managed to still be there, sucking my life dry of the things and people I enjoyed.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't wish bad things to happen to her (okay, after the first two years or so of not having any contact with her in any way, I mean,) I just really really NEVER wanted to have to look at or think about her again. With her waving like a loon to get my attention, I HAD to think about her, and I got to rethink all about how much I didn't like her. All over again.

On the first request, I hit ignore without thinking about it.

On the second request, I thought about it for a while, then hit ignore.

On the third request, I also received a message from her. Ugh. I can't just hit ignore.

Crap.

Her message was written from the POV that we had simply lost touch with each other. And with the premise that she wasn't a whack job from whay back.

I wanted to just reply "who are you, and how would I know you?" But my Inner Bitch was screaming, even after 20 years, for retaliatory brutality. I didn't cave. I consulted a very wise woman who recommended not going passive-aggressive, nor aggressive-aggressive. Just be honest.

"I don't recall liking you very much when I knew you. I really don't want to be friends."

God, I LOVE that. It should be available on a t-shirt. Really.

That's what I replied. Exactly that. And, oh my! the insanity that lunged at me! I got back what was the single most beautiful attempt at subtle manipulation I've ever encountered. Lil' Miss Must Be Friends had been practicing.

A parried that attempt as well. "Thank you for your reply. It confirms that I made the right decision." hit home. Must've, because what I got in response was an out and out pouting tantrum, AND a block.

Hell, I didn't know you could set a block, even on Time Suck Central, that would remove you from even mutual friends lists. Make you totally invisible.

And oh, how I laughed then! It was the single BEST moment of being on Time Suck Central.

I did the mature thing. I posted my status as "I attract the freaks and nutbars even in the virtual world. So nice to know."

I was unblocked within two hours, so I'm guess that the Olympian contender Whack Job Gold definitely should be hers.