Dipwad: Hi. I'm here for the fountain.
Mumple: Uh, okay. *eyes wide*
D: The $199 fountain. I called about it. Is it up here?
M: It was a phone in order?
D: Well, No. I just called and got a price.
M: Okay. Do you know who you talked to?
D: Lawn and Garden. It's right up there.
M: Okay. Did you tell the person you talked to that you were coming in to buy it?
D: No. I just decided it on my way here.
M: Okay. I need an item number so I get the right fountain for you.
D: It's right there. This way. *she wanders up the aisle....kind of weaving*
M: Ma'am, I can't go that far. I'll get someone to meet you. *practically yelled up the aisle after her* Several minutes pass and dipwad is no where to be seen. Matt (who ain't real swift himself) comes up to the register and asks me most of the same questions I just asked her. I told him to just find her, get the stupid thing, get it up here so she'll leave. They come up, Matt and Dipwad.
D: Hi.
M: Hi. *scans bar code* Will that be everything?
D: You know what. *Matt and I look at her* Why don't you just take it out and load it into my car, and then I'll pay for it later. *Mumple's mouth drops open* I have other shopping to do and I'll be right back.
M: I'm sorry ma'am, but we can't load it until it's paid for. We can...
D: Oh. Well. Then. I'll just do that. Okay?
M: Yeah.
*Dipwad pulls out checkbook. Begins to write, asking me for the date, how to spell *****. The price. The Price. The cents on the price. Finishes signing check with flair! Snaps the wallet/checkbook closed and flips it over to reveal her driver's license. Then she stands there.
*Notice I did not say she removed the check and gave it to me.*
D: What?
M: I need the check ma'am. Can you take it out?
D: *gets a little snooty* Well, I thought you'd need my license.
M: I do, ma'am, but I need the check too.
D: Oh. Well. Then.
Mumple: Uh, okay. *eyes wide*
D: The $199 fountain. I called about it. Is it up here?
M: It was a phone in order?
D: Well, No. I just called and got a price.
M: Okay. Do you know who you talked to?
D: Lawn and Garden. It's right up there.
M: Okay. Did you tell the person you talked to that you were coming in to buy it?
D: No. I just decided it on my way here.
M: Okay. I need an item number so I get the right fountain for you.
D: It's right there. This way. *she wanders up the aisle....kind of weaving*
M: Ma'am, I can't go that far. I'll get someone to meet you. *practically yelled up the aisle after her* Several minutes pass and dipwad is no where to be seen. Matt (who ain't real swift himself) comes up to the register and asks me most of the same questions I just asked her. I told him to just find her, get the stupid thing, get it up here so she'll leave. They come up, Matt and Dipwad.
D: Hi.
M: Hi. *scans bar code* Will that be everything?
D: You know what. *Matt and I look at her* Why don't you just take it out and load it into my car, and then I'll pay for it later. *Mumple's mouth drops open* I have other shopping to do and I'll be right back.
M: I'm sorry ma'am, but we can't load it until it's paid for. We can...
D: Oh. Well. Then. I'll just do that. Okay?
M: Yeah.
*Dipwad pulls out checkbook. Begins to write, asking me for the date, how to spell *****. The price. The Price. The cents on the price. Finishes signing check with flair! Snaps the wallet/checkbook closed and flips it over to reveal her driver's license. Then she stands there.
*Notice I did not say she removed the check and gave it to me.*
D: What?
M: I need the check ma'am. Can you take it out?
D: *gets a little snooty* Well, I thought you'd need my license.
M: I do, ma'am, but I need the check too.
D: Oh. Well. Then.
2 comments:
ROFLMAO!! OH MY GOSH!!! I'd just love to shadow you for a day. One, to see the dipwads for myself, two to see you react all nice to them, three to talk about it with you when they are gone!
I'm laughing my rear off too.
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