OPK

I know you're disappointed that I am producing a OPK Rant. Everyone has one....or it seems like it.

But really, why not? I mean, I didn't like OPK before I knew they were OPK. And in all honesty, I don't always like MY kids, why in the world would I expect to be enamored of OPK?

Mostly, it's just the hassle of OP in general. If they're at my house, it's my job to make them comfortable and all that. Spare me. I like doing that gig about 4x a year--Quarterly sounds about right for how often it should happen.

But if OPK are over, I need to be with them, supervising. Supervising children I have no authority over. Isn't that like having a traffic cop who isn't allowed to tell people to stop? It's self-torture. I can't make them listen to my rules and they don't have to listen to my rules, but yet, I want them at my house? Why?

On top of that, they usually have bad habits that my children pick up. Lovely. Of course, my child's bad habits never end up at OP houses. I don't get that exchange either. They get time off from their kids; they don't have the consequences of OPK bad habits moving into their houses....yes, I can see why the OP are always thrilled to have the little noise makers come to my house.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind having kids over to my house. It amuses the Howler. It's not a problem, per se.

But lately, the child comes to my house, and seems to think that she has rights and authority to how things are done, or whether or not rules are to be followed. We really don't have many rules. Don't ride bikes without shoes and helmets. Don't scream. Don't tell me what to do, or how to do it. Don't have tantrums, don't call names, and don't be mean. Don't throw sand out of the sandbox, or move the sand into the wading pool; don't empty the pool into the yard or the sandbox. Help pick up what you've gotten out to play with. Pretty much a common courtesy kind of thing--you know, the "All I Needed To Know I Learned in Kindergarten" kinds of things.

We, however, seem to attract children whose parents never attended Kindergarten, or who totally missed the point of most of the social skills exercises. And who don't understand that as adults, their responsibilty includes, but is not limited to, teaching their children that the world does not revolve around them.

What we get is annoying at the very least. Parents who don't seem to even know where their child is, never mind how she is behaving. It means that I have to choose between allowing a child who doesn't live in my home to change the rules of my home, allow my children to have power and authority that, in my opinion, children should not have, or to send OPK home and deal with the annoyance of a bored and lonely preschooler.

I don't like any of these options, and without having contact with the parents, I have no way to make it clear to them that there ARE rules at my house; and all children who are at my house are expected to know them, and comply.

I do not wish to be mean or ugly to any child. BUT, the incessant screaming, the inappropriate-again, my opinion--mannerisms or ideals or comments are getting tiresome. And they are starting to show up in my child's behavior.

I will not totally blame the OPK for the bad behavior, because I do believe that my child has to learn that he or she is responsible for his or her own choices and behaviors, but if I can trace certain words or phrases or actions to my child having contact with said OPK, I have no choice but to be more vigilant in supervising contact or, worst case, suspend contact entirely.

Which, I hate to do in the current situation because I don't see that there is real abiding harm being done to my child.

The other thing that irritates me about it is that this particular OPK seems to either live at my house for hours on end or disappear for days. It's almost like they turn her out and hope to not see her (Of course, if my child were doing that much screaming and yelling and tantrum throwing, I'd think I wouldn't be too opposed to some peace and quiet--but that's another rant: deal with your child. Don't tolerate the manipulative behavior. Be the grown up.) The *turning out* of her takes place regardless of weather--one evening, in a full blowing thunderstorm, I am having to escort this child home--and no one was even wondering where she was. They apparently handed her a jacket and sent her, and her bike, on their merry way. Why is OPK on my patio, in a raging thunderstorm at 8pm?

Gnerally, she'll leave, in a huff, if she is not getting the 100% undivided attention. She'll leave if she doesn't get her way. She'll leave if we tell her not to do something. Which, of course, the Howler is starting to get a handle on....but, it's always hurtful to be told, "I won't be back for forever!" by someone who you think of as a friend, especially when you're 4. I also don't like to see someone try and manipulate the Howler, or to hurt her feelings. I also don't like being around a child (mine or OP) who thinks that I can be manipulated by tantrums and the like.

It's a no-win situation for me--I can learn to live with a child setting rules at my house, or I can stop that by keeping that child away, but deny my child one of the only playmates in the neighborhood.

I can't wait for school to start. *Sigh*