This is not a Norman Rockwell Painting

It's more like a Fox Channel sitcom:

My house, June 27, 2006.

Tonight, after we ran to the store to grab the few things Kevin forgot to pick up over the weekend, the Howler was getting her bath.

From the time Kevin gets home, all she says is "Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy." (At least, it seems like it.)

So, she in the tub, and she starts, "daddy daddy daddy daddy" so Kevin says, "Kerry, I'm changing my name from Daddy to Rumplestiltskin." Within 5 minutes, she's yelling, "Rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple rumple."

All I can do is laugh. I'm still laughing, when Kevin says to me, "So, you think that's funny, do you?" I remind him, that as the "Mumples" that would make him "Rumple Mumple." I laugh harder. It's starting to hurt, I'm laughing so hard.

Kevin then discovers that his nose hair trimmers (ewww) are in the clothes basket at the top of the stairs. He asks me what they're doing there. I don't know. He asks Theo about it and Theo says, "I put them back." "Are you sure?" "Yeah. I guess. Pretty sure." "Where did you put them 'back'?" "Well, if you're asking, they're in the clothes basket." "What were you doing with them?" "I was trying to fix my toe." (Ewww. Don't ask! He goes to the doc's Thursday to get the dang thing looked at. Ewww!)

Kevin is appalled that his nose hair trimmers were used on Theo's feet. (Even Theo acknowledges that his feet are disgusting. Even without whatever is going on with his toe. Ewww)

Kevin wants to know if he looks that stupid. I can't stop laughing.When putting the Howler to bed, I notice there's a tear in her comforter. She tells me she "must have teared it somewhere." Kevin looks at it. He says, "No. What did you do?"

She tells us, "I founded the scissors and I cutted it."

Okay. We're not happy, but, it's really Theo's fault, so Kevin goes over to Theo's room to make it clear that he can't leave things like that lying around.

We ask her if she "cutted" anything else. "Oh sure. I cutted the hair on my teddy bear." She shows me her Care Bear--who now has a crew cut and male pattern baldness.

Then, we ask her if she used the scissors on anything else. "No."

"Are you sure?"

"No." I notice her CPK baby on her vanity. I pick it up. It doesn't have much hair to begin with...and now, she has less hair in front and less hair in back. Chop Chop.

We're trying not to laugh. The Howler is sincere when she says, "they are beautiful now, aren't they?" And she goes on to explain that the CPbaby was complaining about her hair being "clumpy" and needing a hair cut.

Kevin asks her WHERE the hair is. She (still very sincere) says, "Oh. I setted them in my chair and cutted their hair. See." She runs over and shows us how they sat like good girls in the high chair to get their hair fixed.

We're trying very hard not to laugh, and Kevin is failing. My sides hurt from laughing (and not laughing).